I have relocated a few times in the last years and I have discovered something that has invaded my comfort zone.
I have mentioned in previous posts the number of my friends dwindling as I grow older. So far I have been lucking in not losing any of my friends to death. As you age, however, you realize the possibility is closer than you would like.
When younger, we made friends with people at work, with neighbors, with schoolmates, etc. When we age we stop working, meeting our new neighbors, going to school, etc. The outlets for friendships have evaporated.
What has caused me some discomfort is that I seem to meet people who evidently have "enough" friends. Making friends as you age tends to be harder than when younger. You keep the ones you have and make no effort to find new ones.
I have really tried to meet people, but I find, as I age, that I do not find as many people who are like me - the ones I would like to be friends rather than acquaintances. And many of the people I meet let it be known, sometimes in no uncertain terms, that they already have enough friends and are not interested in forming new friendships.
In analyzing this, I have realized that I am not really alone in this dilemma; there are quite a few people who would like to make new friends. That is why there are so many sites and organizations that cater to us seniors.
I have joined many such groups and have investigated many sites, but the number of friendships I have formed is very small. This makes me sad and, of course, lonely. That is the whole point - getting older becomes more of a solitary event than a joint one, especially for those of us without a partner.
I have never been a solitary person, but I find I spend more and more time alone. This is especially hard since I love being around people and love interacting with them.
Is this a statement about my future and other seniors - is it a "given" that seniors will be lonely? I hope not.
I have mentioned in previous posts the number of my friends dwindling as I grow older. So far I have been lucking in not losing any of my friends to death. As you age, however, you realize the possibility is closer than you would like.
When younger, we made friends with people at work, with neighbors, with schoolmates, etc. When we age we stop working, meeting our new neighbors, going to school, etc. The outlets for friendships have evaporated.
What has caused me some discomfort is that I seem to meet people who evidently have "enough" friends. Making friends as you age tends to be harder than when younger. You keep the ones you have and make no effort to find new ones.
I have really tried to meet people, but I find, as I age, that I do not find as many people who are like me - the ones I would like to be friends rather than acquaintances. And many of the people I meet let it be known, sometimes in no uncertain terms, that they already have enough friends and are not interested in forming new friendships.
In analyzing this, I have realized that I am not really alone in this dilemma; there are quite a few people who would like to make new friends. That is why there are so many sites and organizations that cater to us seniors.
I have joined many such groups and have investigated many sites, but the number of friendships I have formed is very small. This makes me sad and, of course, lonely. That is the whole point - getting older becomes more of a solitary event than a joint one, especially for those of us without a partner.
I have never been a solitary person, but I find I spend more and more time alone. This is especially hard since I love being around people and love interacting with them.
Is this a statement about my future and other seniors - is it a "given" that seniors will be lonely? I hope not.
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