What makes your life worthwhile? Is it family? Or your work or your play? I have been thinking about this for a while since I am getting older, and those things that meant so much to me before are gone. I have no close family in my life nor do I work at a job anymore. I really am not able to play like I used to do.
Aging is hard. If you do not have someone to “grow old gracefully” with you, it can be a drudge. I have always had pets, since I did not have children. My pets were what kept me focused on life – theirs and mine. I believe it is good for an older person to have a pet – it gives us a purpose and some company. Oh, and the male partners I had left long ago.
I just lost my 7th dog in a “long line” of dogs. He was old, as I am, and we were a good pair. I cannot, however, get another pet as so many have me urged me to do. First a young pet would live longer than I will. Second an older pet will have medical expenses that I cannot afford. Some have suggested “fostering” a pet. But I fear the pain of loss each time they found a “good home.” Therefore, I sit here without a pet or person in my life and I wonder what do I have.
I have bills, I have neighbors, I have Sunshine (live in Florida). But I do not have activities that I enjoy because I do not have money. All of that planning with a 401K wiped out by illness. You would be surprised how many I know whose 401K went the way mine did, right after we retired. Major illness can knock it out. I guess it is good that we had it to pay and pay until it was gone. But it has left us with Social Security and old age and all the bills that go with it.
Therefore, in reference to my first question – I need something worthwhile in my life. I have noticed that my male friends have found an interest or activity to replace a deceased wife, divorced wife or just anyone in general. I envy them. They are involved in things they enjoy. The things I enjoy cost more money than I have and my physical abilities have been altered by that illness that depleted my 401K. I am pretty much “up a creek without a paddle.”
The search goes on for anything relatively free to make my life more enjoyable, without causing any more hurt. I have no intent to stop living – just want something different.