Miss Maudie's Menagerie
  • Home
  • Miss Maudie (Computer)
  • Miss Anne Miller (Teaching & Writing)
  • Miss Gertrude (Grammar)
  • Miss Louise (Manners)
  • Miss Mildred (Gardening)
  • Miss Ruthagnes (Rants & Raves)
  • Miss Peggy's Blog
  • Contact Us

Loss

10/10/2013

0 Comments

 
When you get to be a senior you have experienced many losses.  First, we have lost our youth and everything that that entails. Next, we might have lost income due to retirement. Then there is sometimes a loss of independence.

I think the greatest loss for us to experience is “people.”

We lose many of the people in our lives to death. First our grandparents die, then our parents, some lose spouses, and some
poor people tragically lose their children.  I do not want to discuss these painful
losses; no discussion can help us seniors deal with such pain.

I wish to discuss the loss of friends. 
We seniors do not seem to make new friends easily. We pretty much keep our old friends close and do not venture out to
create new ones.  Of course, our lives are such that we do not meet a lot of new people. 
We no longer work fulltime (a place many of us met new people years ago),
we go to churches and organizations that are populated with people we already
know. Even if we volunteer, the new people we meet are much younger than we are, usually.  It is difficult to make
new friends when you become that “certain age.”

I have had what I consider “a tragic loss of friends,” lately.  Since I had a sad childhood, and I have been divorced more than once, I have tried to keep all the friends that I have met over the years.  I called them my “family.”

About 5 years ago, I became very ill. 
I realize now, that when you become “that certain age” people do not want to be around the illness or death of their friends.  I was very ill and at one point was  dying.  I had a friend of 35 years walk out of my hospital room upon finding out my kidneys had shut down. I have never heard from her after that moment. I lost three other friends within the next year, due to my slow recuperation from my illness.  Or
so I thought at the time.

Since that momentous year I have realized that these particular people were not really my friends. I had made all the effort to keep the friendship going. They had ceased to be real friends long ago. The years since that illness, I have realized that other friends that I had held dear, were not really my friends any longer, either. I had become a friendly acquaintance at some point in my life. These losses hurt very much.  
 
Although I do have some friends left, I do not live near them now and I know from previous times that this distance will change the friendship.  Because, you see, if you are not THERE, where they live, they go one with their lives and create new
friendships with people who do live
where they do.  
 
Lately, after coming to terms with another lost friend, I have started to feel very alone. I might live a bit longer so I need to find, as so many of my peers, a replacement for my friends.  What can I
do?

Well, I joined Facebook and enjoy reading about all my “ole” acquaintances there.  I can see their families, read about their involvements, and enjoy the moments sharing experiences and other things.  It
does not take the place of true friends, but it helps fill the lonely times


I have also joined a senior center that has a gym. I go and work out three times a week. I met a widow at the gym and we go to lunch occasionally.  I count her as
a new friendly acquaintance.  Our
friendship will probably not last very long, but we both needed a “friend” for right now.

I am trying to plan a new adventure – I love to travel and even though I do not have the funds for flying where I want, I can drive short distances for several days to get there. I have also started this website and this blog to “share” the experiences and feelings I have.

Now do not get me wrong – the things I have listed do not take the place of friends, real friends. But after a certain age, I am not sure that I ever had any real friends;
I think I might have just tricked myself into believing I did. Rather than doing that again, I am moving forward alone. 
I might meet a real friend along the way, but then again I might not.

My message is this:  If you do not have any real friends left, reach into yourself and be your own real friend.  Create fun for yourself, doing all the things that you would do with a friend. It will take some getting used to, but we all can do it if we want it bad enough.

I am going to try and I hope you will,
too.

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    I am a retired teacher and IT trainer who has travelled a bit and learned many life lessons.

    Archives

    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    September 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    October 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.