Boy was I wrong! I have NO life now. Forget travelling. I cannot even afford to go somewhere locally. Why? Because I live in poverty. I did not anticipate how hard it would be to live on a limited income. (And that money I saved for retirement went to a major illness) I never had a lot of money, but I had enough for fun. I do not even have enough for food now, much less take my dog to vet.
I am not so sure it is a good thing to get old. Maybe my grandparents, who died in their 60’s, had it right. They lived on for a while on savings, etc. and then they died. No worrying every minute of the day how they were going to make it to the end of the month – much less for the next year. And all those years after????
As you can tell, I am having a moment of crisis. BUT it has lasted longer than moment. This has extended into months. That is why I have not written in my blog. I am having no adventures. I am just trying to survive. And it is not interesting.
And let me tell you I am not alone. I moved into this apartment complex for “55 and Older.” I ended up being immersed into something quite different. It looks so beautiful, but on those beautiful pathways going around the pool or around buildings watch out you might be run down by people with oxygen tanks, walkers, power chairs, and scooters. There are some who walk normally, but they are not “all there” in the mind department. You do not want to talk to them…
I have had a hard time finding people to whom I can relate. Most of the ones I have located arrived that first month as I did. We are the ones lured here with those ads showing a beautiful apartment with benefits. Many of those first people left at the end of the first year’s lease because they raised the rent $40-48 per month. (Note: Social Security did NOT go up.) The others (like me) could not afford to leave so they are still here. Is this what retirement is really like?
My environment is awful, even if the apartment is nice. I compare my situation to buying a beautiful apple and discovering when taking that first bite that it is rotten to the core. Such a disappointment.
I cannot quit taking my meds (and that would end it all) because I have my little Pekinese. He is old, too, and he deserves my love and companionship until his life ends. So trying to find some place that is acceptable is the goal. I have been looking every day for a year. So far, not much luck.
Sorry for the negative post. I had to get it all out. Maybe tomorrow or next week will be better.