About one month ago, I posted that I thought I had lost a friend, because I had expressed my feelings about something. Well, at this date it appears to be true. But I am not going to swallow my feelings, likes, or dislikes anymore. I am at an age where there is less time in front of me than behind me. I need to be true to myself.
When we get older, especially we women, we sometimes reach a place where we stand up for ourselves and what we want and expect from others. Not everyone one does this, and we do not do it at the same time, when we do it.
But after putting others' feelings, wants, and needs first, I have reached that place of self-respect. If my future has less "pushy" people in it, well, so be it.
There is a good reason why I have spent most of my life considering others first. My mother taught me that I should do this, rather than cause disagreement. She thought she was doing a good thing. She, also thought it would keep me from being alone. What she did not realize is that we are alone, when we are with others who do not consider our wishes or desires. We are just the doormat outside the door of their lives. Selfish people prey on those poor women, like me, who respect their feelings more than our own. They "rule."
So I lost that friend, and it is not so bad. I do not have to do and act the way that person wanted. I look back and realize how uncomfortable I was in those early days of friendship. If that friendship had continued it would have ended very badly, as all friendships that I have had like this. It is better to have fewer true friends, who permit me to be the person I am.
But let me assure others out there. I intend to look for new friends. I have "old" friends, but I have made a few newer friends who are as valuable. I am encouraged that although I am viewed by many as a "weird old bird," there are people out there in our vast world who will like me for who I am. Those I welcome. Those naysayers can just stay away...I will not miss them.
When we get older, especially we women, we sometimes reach a place where we stand up for ourselves and what we want and expect from others. Not everyone one does this, and we do not do it at the same time, when we do it.
But after putting others' feelings, wants, and needs first, I have reached that place of self-respect. If my future has less "pushy" people in it, well, so be it.
There is a good reason why I have spent most of my life considering others first. My mother taught me that I should do this, rather than cause disagreement. She thought she was doing a good thing. She, also thought it would keep me from being alone. What she did not realize is that we are alone, when we are with others who do not consider our wishes or desires. We are just the doormat outside the door of their lives. Selfish people prey on those poor women, like me, who respect their feelings more than our own. They "rule."
So I lost that friend, and it is not so bad. I do not have to do and act the way that person wanted. I look back and realize how uncomfortable I was in those early days of friendship. If that friendship had continued it would have ended very badly, as all friendships that I have had like this. It is better to have fewer true friends, who permit me to be the person I am.
But let me assure others out there. I intend to look for new friends. I have "old" friends, but I have made a few newer friends who are as valuable. I am encouraged that although I am viewed by many as a "weird old bird," there are people out there in our vast world who will like me for who I am. Those I welcome. Those naysayers can just stay away...I will not miss them.
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