Genteel Poverty

1/11/2015

When I was growing up, I heard a term, “Genteel Poverty,” that conjured up images of formerly wealthy old people who maintained their refined attitudes, even though their wealth was gone. I was an avid reader of good literature, and I found many of these people reflected in my books. This is probably where I heard the term. I was so impressed with this term that it has stuck with me all of my life.

Now that I have had a “reversal of fortune,” I like to think that I am in genteel poverty, although I have never been wealthy. I maintain that even though I am poor, I can behave in a mannerly fashion and let my education and basically kind attitude prevail. I want to be around other genteel people who might or might not actually be in a poverty situation.

Alas, I am now living in the sordid underbelly of poverty and I do not like it. I want genteel poverty! So many “poor” people around me are not just poor in funds, but also in civility, kindness, simple manners, and good taste. They are angry and greedy. Many get everything free and want even more. It is not enough. They have better cell phones than I do; several have newer cars than I do; and many probably eat better than I do, because of food stamps and a free monthly food delivery from the government. With all the generosity they receive, you would think that they would be appreciative. Not so.

I admit, I do not know their history. I do not know how they got to this place. Maybe they have always lived in poverty and chose not to leave. I know some got here the same I did, through illness. But I do find that there are many who have no dignity, and therefore, are not genteel, in my opinion. And let me be clear, race does not enter into it. These people are poor in spirit, and I do not think you can be genteel in that state. I might be wrong, but that is my impression.

At this time in my life, I cannot really help anyone, so I have chosen to leave this underbelly and find a place more suitable to my impression of old age. It should have at least a smidgen of this genteel poverty that I practice and I want. It also should have less greedy and more generous souls residing there. When I find this place, I will be among people that make me comfortable and secure. I will have arrived at that genteel status, albeit a poor one.

14 Comments

Alex

3/24/2018 02:36:56 pm

Wow writer, you clearly live in a bubble. Having worked with the poor many years I can tell you that there are many reasons such as hidden disabilities, lack of adequate transportation and child care, racism/sexism/classism, which keep many folks mired in poverty. Some poor people are stricken by fear of being ostracized by the only friends and family they have ever known if the push to succeed. Clearly, there is something lacking on your part because as a retired teacher, you should have a pension and social security - not so hard to live comfortably in those even with zero savings. You also have skills that make it easy to become reemployed. So, take a step back and look in the mirror before you throw stones at others who have not had your chances.

Peggy Gamble

3/24/2018 03:03:10 pm

You obviously did not read the whole post, especially the beginning. I am now old and poor now (never wealthy but gainfully employed most of my life), but I hope I am at least genteel. I have looked up genteel poverty for you since you obviously did not. Being genteel is a matter of mind and action- not wealth.

Peggy Anne Gamble

1/7/2021 10:00:31 am

I am 74, walk with a cane, have all kinds of health problems, i.e., high blood pressure and high cholesterol, thyroid problems, for a few.,

Lennox Wong link

4/20/2021 03:07:14 am

Support this, Peg! And, in the words of the wizend Victor the butler, "there is no genteel poverty here."

Alex is clearly some sort of digital bully with an axe to grind on twilighters.

Kim

12/16/2019 02:10:03 am

This comment is an example of the lack gentility the author is talking about. She seems wise and kind and it’s honestly an embarrassment to hear someone addressing an elder in this manner.

Peggy Anne Gamble

1/7/2021 09:58:30 am

Thank you, Kim.

MGF

12/8/2020 07:44:27 am

Alex,

Yes, I must agree with the first two responses but the first response to your reply hit the nail on the head.... "You missed the entire message the author expressed".

Peggy Anne Gamble link

12/8/2020 11:25:18 am

no pension - very little social security. Things happen and have consequences.

Phoenix

1/4/2023 04:08:10 am

Did you even read the blog post before commenting?
How can you accuse the author of "throwing stones at others" for being poor when she's clearly said that it is the 'poverty of spirit' and not that of wealth that troubles her about her neighbors? In fact, this is the Theme of her write-up, which you've completely overlooked in favor of getting triggered by non-triggering statements.
Brushing up your critical thinking/ reading abilities might make your life sweeter. And no, you do need wealth to develop these skills.

To the author: Thank you for writing this so beautifully. I and my parents before me all grew up in genteel poverty and I'm very grateful to them for raising me without insecurities, avarice, or envy.

Sarah Scott

1/6/2021 11:32:24 pm

I think it is so beautifully written you could clearly gain employment from writing. It is reminiscent of bygone authors. Interesting and delicate. Brilliant.

Peggy Anne Gamble link

1/7/2021 09:57:19 am

Thank for your kind words. I write a blog expressing my opinions, hopes, and dreams. I am not trying to woo anyone over to my side. It is an outlet for me to vent or reminisce

Miss Frugalaire

3/25/2021 09:07:57 pm

Hello Miss Peggy,
Thank you for sharing your insights.
My Scottish Great Granni was raised by her own Granni in a big house in Glasgow with servants and beautiful things. Her Grandfather died and eventually they had to sell the house, loose the servants and sell the beautiful items. The items were auctioned and a few years ago on a trip to Scotland I saw these listed in the auctioned goods in old accountant's log books held by the Glasgow library. I was very proud because my 2nd Great Grandparents were self made and worked hard to become wealthy and founded the Theatre Royale in Glasgow but the wealth was lost over subsequent generations. My Great Granni married a Man who came from a wealthy shipping family. Unfortunately he gambled and was a wastrel so his Father disinherited him, he eventually went mad and died in the city asylum for the poor.
My Great Granni was not trained to do any work, had to learn to cook and clean and frequently loaned her children to other family members to feed and house. She always dressed well in the few clothes she had, patched them, skipped meals but never complained.
Great Granni apparently told my Mother that she was useless at most things saying " I was only trained to dust the Goldfish"
Very sad times I think as the 'class' system kept her useless and relying on a husband that was always absent, never having a home and not able to earn a living but she was cared for eventually by her children and continually babysitting for them to help out. Being poor meant she would eat offal and loved her tripe but Mum said she could 'stomach' it herself....sorry for the bad pun.
My Mother said she was a wonderful Granni, always wore the same impeccable old clothes but clean, good manners and social graces.
Another thing she would say "you are never too poor to afford a bar of soap" meaning to keep pride in your appearance by keeping clean, probably washing in a basin.
I would also wish to note that by your imposed frugal disposition you are benefitting the planet by not discarding usable objects at whim as others you have noticed. ie: not buying a new phone or car.
Therefore you should be seen as a very responsible and valued member of society that many young people today would respect.

I wish you well Miss Peggy.

Miss Frugalaire
:-)

Debby Grant

8/27/2021 02:09:01 am

Miss Frugalaire. What a beautiful response. My mother's story is similar, so I won't bore you with telling it, but thank you for sharing.

Miss Peggy, I have come across this post several times over the years, and it always inspires me. I grew up in an upper-middle class family, went on to post-secondary education, and moved into a professional career. Four years later, I was homeless with a one year old baby in a shelter in Montreal.
People don't realize just how close they are to poverty; how very little it would take for them to loose everything. They don't realize that all we truely have is our spirit, charm and grace.
I didn't stay down for long. A positive attitude and good manners landed me a good job, not a career, but it pays the bills, and puts a roof over our heads with a little to spare.
That one year old baby is now 30.When he was in school, I would regularly get comments on what a lovely person he is, and what good manners he has; which is great, because that makes him a very rich person in my eyes.

Hope

5/17/2022 01:55:01 pm

I grew up surrounded by servants and was surrounded by the finer things in life until a few years ago. Tragedy upon tragedy befell my family and now we've fallen so far from grace. We have lost so much, including "close" friends and family, but thankfully managed to stay together, keep our old house, and our dignity.

We still have food on our table but life has been extremely difficult especially with an ailing mother whose monthly medical expenses aren't cheap. I love her so much and am trying my best to help her recover.

In spite of the constant desire to give up, I still try to hold on to hope that someday soon it will get better.

I wish us both the best, ma'am.

Genteel Poverty

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