This is a question I have asked myself over and over for a very long time. I have not always chosen to “go.” But is seems that when I have chosen to “stay” I have ended up suffering in one way or another.
Is it a primal sense that warns us of possible hurt or damage to come? Is there an innate sense that has come down over the centuries that warns us to flee? I do not know. I just know that when that feeling comes upon me, it is imperative that I flee. When I have ignored it, I have suffered more times than not.
I now am in the midst of another “fight or fight” situation. I am ending a battle right now that has been ongoing for too many months and I am weary. I fear that I cannot fight another one, at this time. So, I guess that "flight" is the answer.
It is a shame that as we grow older, we lose that ability to fight for ourselves. We also have a tendency to choose an easier situation, even it is the one that will not give a brighter future. Being afraid comes with the territory now. Too many unknowns, and now without the inexperience of youth, we are aware of them. We realize that there are so many more treacherous things out there waiting to work their magic on us elderly.
We have fears that we never had. Our lives have changed. We have experienced love and loss, one way or the other. At 20 I never even realized that I would experience so much pain at another’s hand. And I was raised by an abusive mother! But the anticipation and positive attitude of youth is a wondrous thing. I have leaped, to quote the bard, “into the breach” too often, thinking that my mother’s abuse was not the norm. I have come back, from these leaps, but after so many, I do not leap as much.
However, today, I fear that I will lose the upcoming battle and I am literally afraid to fight it, anyway. I fear I will lose even more than I have before this moment. Therefore, I will go. Youth and its wonderful trait of taking of chances is gone. Preservation is foremost, now.
Is it a primal sense that warns us of possible hurt or damage to come? Is there an innate sense that has come down over the centuries that warns us to flee? I do not know. I just know that when that feeling comes upon me, it is imperative that I flee. When I have ignored it, I have suffered more times than not.
I now am in the midst of another “fight or fight” situation. I am ending a battle right now that has been ongoing for too many months and I am weary. I fear that I cannot fight another one, at this time. So, I guess that "flight" is the answer.
It is a shame that as we grow older, we lose that ability to fight for ourselves. We also have a tendency to choose an easier situation, even it is the one that will not give a brighter future. Being afraid comes with the territory now. Too many unknowns, and now without the inexperience of youth, we are aware of them. We realize that there are so many more treacherous things out there waiting to work their magic on us elderly.
We have fears that we never had. Our lives have changed. We have experienced love and loss, one way or the other. At 20 I never even realized that I would experience so much pain at another’s hand. And I was raised by an abusive mother! But the anticipation and positive attitude of youth is a wondrous thing. I have leaped, to quote the bard, “into the breach” too often, thinking that my mother’s abuse was not the norm. I have come back, from these leaps, but after so many, I do not leap as much.
However, today, I fear that I will lose the upcoming battle and I am literally afraid to fight it, anyway. I fear I will lose even more than I have before this moment. Therefore, I will go. Youth and its wonderful trait of taking of chances is gone. Preservation is foremost, now.
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