Before I start, let me say that this is not a “pity party.” I am OK with my situation; I could probably change it if I wanted to do so. I guess I do not want to do that just now. So let’s move on.
I remember when my little brother believed in Santa. Christmas Eve night was barely over and my parents were just in bed, when he woke me and we had to “see what Santa had brought.” I turned on the Christmas lights on the tree and we looked at everything under it. We then went to sleep on opposite ends of the sectional couch until our parents woke up. It was a great time for me because my little brother was so excited. He is now 62; I wonder if he remembers those wonderful times.
I also remember both sets of grandparents coming for Christmas, even though they lived in other states. Aunts and uncles were there also with cousins. The house was full of love. We had great Christmas Eves and great Christmas dinners with all who came.
Later in life I remember, I started my tradition of decorating a tree on my birthday (3 weeks before Christmas to the day). No matter how “poor” I felt, I always bought a live tree and decorated it. I would stretch out on the couch with all lights and lamps off and listen to Christmas carols with the tree lights on. I still think those trees were especially magical on Christmas Eve.
I also remember a tradition that my husband and I started of going out on Christmas Eve to all the shops and malls – not to buy anything but to be part of the excitement and maybe frenzy that was going on with others. One Christmas Eve, as drove home from the chaos, it started to snow and we had a white Christmas. This is a very good memory. I will probably go out today into the chaos just for the memory of it. It will not snow, but that’s OK.
As I got older and more flush in the money department, I invested in more Christmas decorations and even some Christmas china. I loved having guests over. And I loved buying presents for loved ones and friends. I even started giving gifts to various charities. This “giving” tradition has brought much joy to me at the holidays.
So tonight, I will be alone, but not really. I have a cup of cocoa, some cookies that I baked, and I am planning on watching the 1951 version of A Christmas Carol with Alistair Sims one more time on Christmas Eve. When he wakes up and discovers he has not missed Christmas Day and starts laughing and giggling, I do, too. It truly lifts me up if I am down. My little dog, Bobby Socks, will be with me, and I have my wonderful memories of Christmas Eves past to keep me company as I wait for Santa to come.
Merry Christmas to you all!