In short, a very young friend met a man and she thought I might like him. She got his phone number and called to give it to me. I called him last night. First mistake.
Now, let me explain a bit about how this happened. She is a lot younger than I and not quite as jaded, so she thought this guy might blow away the loneliness that I am experiencing sometimes. Such a good heart, although a bit uninformed about my new requirements for a man in MY life.
Well, I called him last night, as I said earlier. And I am proud to say that for once I listened to those bells and whistles. At first, he seemed nice enough, and then he started talking about himself. (heard a slight ringing at this time, you know because he did not ask about me.) It eventually came out that he was a recovering alcoholic, had a roommate in his condo, was a Vietnam vet with issues, and so much more. By now the ringing was incessant.
It is not that I did not feel for this man – I did. But I do not need someone with more problems than I have. Then came the questions to see if I measured up to what he wanted in a woman. Get ready, these were his most critical issues. First, did I make up my bed every morning, and second did I leave dishes in the sink. He could not stand a woman who did this. I have to admit, I was a bit taken aback.
I replied to both questions with “occasionally.” And I was upset that he put me on the defensive. I am independent to a fault, as I my friends who have tried to change me know. This went on and on. He never asked about me. He talked about how wonderful is deceased wife was. And I finally realized that I had to come up with a way to put him off gracefully. I did not want to be with this guy at all.
I had to state what I wanted from another man not long ago, and it was acceptable to him, but he moved on. I now know I must come up with a reason for not seeing this man that will not hurt him. That is, if he calls me back. Who knows if he will, since I do occasionally leave my bed unmade and occasionally have a dirty dish in my sink. Wow, I just remembered, when I cook. My goodness, dirty dishes are on the sink and the counter while cooking. He would have a stroke.
I am beginning to think, that perhaps, I need to keep going down this road alone. I require certain things to maintain my happiness, and I have become quite selfish now. I will consider those things more a man's happiness. I find it amazing that finally I am doing this. Better late than never, huh?