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Out with the Old

12/31/2018

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Today we celebrate the last year or say good-bye to a bad one. I feel that it is a time to do the latter. Although I had high expectations for 2018, I had a horrible fall early on and that lowered them. I would go on to have another bad fall about 6 months later, so I am glad to say goodbye to 2018. I also lost a longtime friend from when I was 19. He dated and later married a very dear friend and my roommate in my first apartment. I also had to give up my storage unit in NC because I realized I would never be able to afford to go get it (1000 miles away). All of my furniture and personal belongs gone now. I guess you could say my past. The manager did, however, send me all my old albums and loose photos and a wonderful memory, my dog’s ashes.
I did have some nice things happen during the year, I made new neighbor friends and adopted a 9 ½ year old Yorkie, Riley. He brings back good memories of when I was younger and had another Yorkie, Puddin. I also made my apartment "mine" with a few additional furnishings (most other furniture was given by neighbors when they replaced theirs.)  I more or less put a personal touch on it. That is an ongoing process.
But I guess I would have to say that this year cannot be called a great one. But I have every intention of making 2019 memorable and great. Happy New Year, friends!
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The Life of Riley

12/28/2018

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When I was growing up there was a sitcom called, "The Life of Riley." Well, it has come to life in my life with my little Riley (my Yorkie). This morning Riley is sitting on the couch with a pillow, towel, comforter, and about 5 Christmas toys. THAT is truly what the Life of Riley is about. ha, ha.
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Good Bye 2018 Soon

12/27/2018

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I have to say that I will be glad to say good-bye to this last year. It has not been a good one for me physically. I fell in February and cracked my head open, had to go to the Emergency Room and felt like I was losing my mind.

And about 6 moths later, just when I was getting my memory back, I fell backwards while walking Riley and cracked my noggin again. Luckily, I fell into the grass and did not break anything. But my neighbors called the Fire Department to get me up. Embarrassing, oh, yes, but the fireman was so cute. And he held me pretty tight as he walked me back to my apartment. To be held by a good looking man was nice -it had been a while but I vowed not to do it again.

​The rest of the year managed to go by without that kind of trauma. I got Riley this year (my soon to be 10 year old Yorkie,). He is so sweet and reminds me of Puddin', my Yorkie from long ago. I have not returned to a social life, except here at the apartment complex, And after looking at the pictures of me, I have decided that weight loss and the gym must be part of my New Year's resolutions.

​"Never have I ever" seems appropriate here. The only time in my adult life that I have been this large is when I was going through a divorce and the subsequent depression. Unfortunately that young self that did not eat when depressed has gone away. Now I "stuff."

​That must stop and riding a bike and lifting a few weights is not that hard. I think I will buy some light weights to have in the apartment. We have a gym, but for some reason I cannot make myself go there. I also have a gym membership to a great real gym. So I will go there and start to build up again - At least I hope I will.

​All in all I plan on making 2019 a better year than 2018. I will keep the good friends I have made and try to make some new ones.. I plan to go out and experience life a little more. There are museums to visit, places close by to travel to, and of course, there is the beach with its beautiful Gulf of Mexico. I have not been beachcombing in  a while. It always wipes away strife and troubles.

​I have a plan for 2019 and I am ready to start.


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Merry Christmas!

12/25/2018

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My Christmas dinner has been prepared; my ham is in the crockpot, stuffing ( yes I know it is for turkey) is in the oven along with the green bean casserole. The sweet potatoes are cooking in brown sugar and butter until they go in the over, too. And I have no guests coming.

​I decided that although I am alone, no male neighbors with nowhere to go, I would just cook for me. I will have enough food to last me to the New Year and beyond. I can reheat and then cook black-eyed peas and greens, another tradition to ensure good luck and prosperity.

​I also had "Toy Story" on while cooking, another tradition. Now "The Nightmare Before Christmas is on while I typed this. I have been hoping my favorites, "The Bishop's Wife" and the old "Scrooge" come on today. They were on last night. I can only hope for a repeat.

​Riley has been napping and will want to go out soon. So my day now is on automatic. My neighbors came by yesterday, but today they are with families. I was asked to join in, but I feel like a 5th wheel. They do not make me feel that way; I just feel that way.

​Anyway, I am in my Christmas, mode and I wish you a very Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year.
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A Better Day

12/17/2018

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I am feeing so much better than I did two days ago. I cannot say I did anything to help that "blah" feeling I had. I just feel like doing things, again. And I have done the "chores" that needed doing..

​I really think that one of the reasons I felt out of sorts is that I did realize that I am alone, really alone now. Friends of old have drifted away, and I have not made a lot of new friends to take their places. I also realized that I am getting older and cannot really "move" to another place to continue my exploring of our county. I cannot drive those distances anymore but maybe I can take another kind of transportation.​

​My dog, Riley has been out of sorts and having some age problems. As a result, we woke up every two hours last night to take him out. When he finally settled down, I went back to bed and slept for a while.

​I got up this morning and felt horrible - not enough sleep. But I took all my meds and supplements that keep this old body going.,  This morning they kicked in and blew that mood of the last two days out the door. I am going about normal activities and enjoying it.

​The day is sunny and so is my mood. Hallelujah!


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Update on Christmas

12/15/2018

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I have had something happen in the last few days that I have not experienced in a very long time. I am having difficulty with the arrival of Christmas. It has been a very long time, as I said, since I could not  “get into the mood” for this holiday.

Over the years, I was sad about some happenings in my life and that affected my festivities. But I do not have anything like this going on now– I am just extremely bored. I have gotten old and do not relish in the things most people my age enjoy. I really do not have a family – only a brother and his child and family. But I am not a part of that family. If it were not for Facebook, I would not even know about them.

This is the first time it has bothered me in a long while that I am alone at Christmas, because I usually “farm myself out” for the holidays and participate in others’ celebrations. I also usually go through the motions of fixing a dinner. I am not doing either  this year.

So, I am watching all those Christmas TV movies that I once loved, in hopes that they will trigger some great memories. As I told you in an earlier post, I have decorated a small tree and put some “Christmas” around my apartment.

The only creature I really have in my life now is a little Yorkie named Riley who does show me that he cares all the time. If I did not have him, I guess I would be totally alone.

Now please, do not think I have been abandoned by those friends of old. I just am tired of farming myself out to watch others. My only hope is there will be something that pulls me out of this mood. I cannot imagine what it will take. I really think it is old age catching up with me, because I remember how lost others have been when they got older and “lost” so much. 

​I guess my purpose for this post is just to unload a bit  and let others know that sometimes Christmas is not a joyous time. And that it is OK.

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Christmas Has Arrived in My Apt.

12/12/2018

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One Year Older

12/8/2018

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My birthday was last week and it was very nice. I heard from friends afar and my friends here in Pensacola were great. They made my day very happy.

​My good friend, Brenda, brought me a Publix Molten Chocolate Cake (larger than a cupcake) fudge cake, with fudge throughout it and fudge icing. Then topped off with chocolate chips. To make sure my chocoholic body was satisfied, she also gave me two large 80% chocolate Hershey bars. She even lit a candle on the little cake for me to blow out. And as a added bonus, she gave me a plaque that says, "A  House is not a Home with out a Yorkshire Terrier." I now have a little Yorkie named Riley - his birthday is later this month and he will be 10.

​Another neighbor had a beautiful wreath made for my door for Christmas. And I got special cards and personal good wishes.  My neighbors are great.

​Only one glitch in the week that still has not come forth. I had ordered my first artificial  Christmas tree from Wayfair, and Fed Ex picked it up for delivery on Dec. 6th. Fed Ex picked it up but it is somewhere in the nether world since I cannot track it beyond. It just says the label has been made and I will be notified when it will be delivered. I wonder if they lost their first package in the world and it is mine. I figure it was wrong for me to get that first artificial tree in my history. Bad Karma?

​I made a decision not to cook the whole shebang this year. I might get a free turkey or ham and I will cook it. But as far as sides, I will have to think about it. Alas, I do not eat as much as I used to. I should lose weight but I am fairly inactive. The only exercise I get is walking my dog.

​I finally got rid of "the dead lady's furniture," as I called it. She was a resident who died a few months after moving here and I needed furniture since mine was all in North Carolina. My neighbors pitched in and helped me mover her couches and a dresser from a resident who abandoned his apartment early on. Good Will was the recipient of the couch and I kept the dresser. I plan on painting it.

​Another neighbor and dear friend gave me her leather couch since she was getting a new one. I also got her leather recliner. Oh, and I gave up my storage. I had them send my photos and let the rest go. It still makes me sad, but that is life. It was costing so much to keep it.

​So my apartment has finally become "comfortable" to me, and I am watching TV with Riley today since it is cold and gloomy outside - hints of rain. I do go out in the rain now (not like some of my neighbors who do not) but I really do not need anything at this time so I will "nest,"

​Still have my fingers crossed that the tree will arrive.
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    I am a retired teacher and IT trainer who has travelled a bit and learned many life lessons.

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