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New Year's Resolutions

12/30/2014

It’s that time of year again – New Year’s resolution time. Every year we start out with good intentions. We make resolutions to eat better, exercise more, pay off bills, live more thriftily, and lose weight. Generally, we do not carry these resolutions out much farther than March. We eventually go back to our old comfortable ways.

I have a proposition. Why not make new, different resolutions (and work on those every year ones, too). What would you like to do this year? These should be your new New Year’s Resolutions. If you want to do something, the chance is greater that you will do it. You would have success for a change at the end of next year.

I am going on record with my new New Year’s Resolutions for 2015.

I am going to make at least one new friend.
I am going to join and attend at least one social group.
I am going to visit interesting places near where I live.
If I can financially, I am going to visit interesting places far from where I live.
I am going to sit in a quiet place outside and receive the benefits of the sun, air, and all that nature can give – at least once per week.
I am going to travel (this is a personal love for me) and it will not involve moving (after I move to Florida in the early spring).
I am going to earn additional money doing something that I love.
I am going to get involved in some sort of charity work, i.e. teaching reading for free, computer lessons for free, or getting involved with an actual charity and giving my time.
I am going to make a list on Jan. 1, 2015 of things that I used to do that gave me pleasure, and I am going to make plans to do them again if I am physically able. (Dancing all night might be out.)
This one is open; if I discover something new to do and love, this is where it will go.

So my friends, I challenge you to “think out of the box” this year. Make new resolutions to benefit yourself but make sure that they are something that you really want to do. That guarantees that this year you will do them. I am looking forward to getting started.

Happy New Year!

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Oh, Those Changes!

12/26/2014

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When you become a “senior” change is inevitable. Your body and your mind experience so much change that it is hard to keep up.

Everything on the body moves, usually “south.” Lids droop and puffiness develops under the eyes; cheeks become jowls; the neck starts a slide down into wrinkles; chests drop to our waists; hips disappear completely; feet swell. Skin dries out; blue veins show their residency; spots and moles appear out of nowhere; fingers develop unusual bulges at the joints; the body is on the move.

Hearing and eyesight start to fail; moving becomes more treacherous; hair becomes thinner and has less color; toenails become the enemy.

And then there is the mind. Reasoning is slower; recalling things is more difficult; emotions are on edge; memories of younger days prevail.

So why on earth would anyone want to continue to age? Why -because many things change for the better, too. A senior has usually found himself/herself. No more caring what other people think. We finally have reached a maturity in which we know our shortcomings and are comfortable with them. No more trying to be someone else or caring so much what strangers think about us.

There is a strength of self that develops. I find that I am not tolerant of anyone who is unkind to me, shows me no respect, or who looks down on me in any way. I quickly remove myself from that person or situation. I do not have patience for this negative action any longer.

We seniors have experienced a lifetime of learning and now know what life is truly about. We have memories of better times to draw on and we have a perseverance to go on to the next stage.

Becoming a senior is a rite of passage, just like getting your driver’s license at 16. We gain knowledge, contentment of self, and most of all, respect for who we are. Not everyone hits this at the same age, but it comes; yes, it does come. And with it comes a head held high and a love of new things, as well as great respect for the past life that made us. We forgive our own sins and learn to live with our mistakes. We do not blame others; we just persevere to the life we have earned.

So, yes, we have changed from the naïve young person who turned 21 many years ago. We are sages in life because we have seen it all. But most of all we have survived what life pitched at us. Hurrah for us!

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Christmas Eve Memories

12/24/2014

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On this Christmas Eve, I am alone. Family is out; I have no children and am divorced; at my age my parents are both gone, and I only have one brother who lives far away. Friends are absent; either I have moved away from them; they have moved away from me; or they have totally disappeared from my life. But I am not sad. I have great memories of Christmas Eve. I am drawing on them today.

Before I start, let me say that this is not a “pity party.” I am OK with my situation; I could probably change it if I wanted to do so. I guess I do not want to do that just now. So let’s move on.

I remember when my little brother believed in Santa. Christmas Eve night was barely over and my parents were just in bed, when he woke me and we had to “see what Santa had brought.” I turned on the Christmas lights on the tree and we looked at everything under it. We then went to sleep on opposite ends of the sectional couch until our parents woke up. It was a great time for me because my little brother was so excited. He is now 62; I wonder if he remembers those wonderful times.

I also remember both sets of grandparents coming for Christmas, even though they lived in other states. Aunts and uncles were there also with cousins. The house was full of love. We had great Christmas Eves and great Christmas dinners with all who came.

Later in life I remember, I started my tradition of decorating a tree on my birthday (3 weeks before Christmas to the day). No matter how “poor” I felt, I always bought a live tree and decorated it. I would stretch out on the couch with all lights and lamps off and listen to Christmas carols with the tree lights on. I still think those trees were especially magical on Christmas Eve.

I also remember a tradition that my husband and I started of going out on Christmas Eve to all the shops and malls – not to buy anything but to be part of the excitement and maybe frenzy that was going on with others. One Christmas Eve, as drove home from the chaos, it started to snow and we had a white Christmas. This is a very good memory. I will probably go out today into the chaos just for the memory of it. It will not snow, but that’s OK.

As I got older and more flush in the money department, I invested in more Christmas decorations and even some Christmas china. I loved having guests over. And I loved buying presents for loved ones and friends. I even started giving gifts to various charities. This “giving” tradition has brought much joy to me at the holidays.

So tonight, I will be alone, but not really. I have a cup of cocoa, some cookies that I baked, and I am planning on watching the 1951 version of A Christmas Carol with Alistair Sims one more time on Christmas Eve. When he wakes up and discovers he has not missed Christmas Day and starts laughing and giggling, I do, too. It truly lifts me up if I am down. My little dog, Bobby Socks, will be with me, and I have my wonderful memories of Christmas Eves past to keep me company as I wait for Santa to come.

Merry Christmas to you all!

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A Place for Mom and Dad

12/17/2014

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Finding a place for seniors has become a big business. Children are searching for a reasonably priced place to put their parents. These are the children of parents who, for whatever reason, have found themselves unable to live in their homes or in the grand places provided for people with money. Many of the parents have no income except their Social Security. The Government funded apartment seems to be the answer.

Beware!! The Government funded apartments for seniors are not all equal in quality, even though they are equally funded. I know because I am living in one of the sub-standard apartments; one that charges the government a huge amount of money that goes to the property management company and owners and provides sub-standard living for the residents. I had not been exposed to such facilities so I did not know anything about them. When I returned to my home town and found rentals quite high, I applied at one of these apartment complexes. Based on my experience, I thought I would share what problems I have found.

Below I have listed what to do when searching government funded facilities.

Take an extended tour – not just in the public places but also in the halls, parking lots, laundry rooms, community rooms, etc. These private places will show you how and with whom you or your parent will really be living.

Look for evidence of water leaks; are the floors warped or are the carpets in the hallways stained from water damage; look up at the ceilings to see if there are water leaks there. Look for mildew or discolored areas, indicating problems.
Check the walls and floors in different hallways for cleanliness and fresh paint.
If there are elevators, check them out, preferably without anyone else one them. Are the floors stained or dirty; are the ceilings clean. And in my apartment complex – has someone peed in it?
Is the heat or air conditioning the same in all areas, both common and private?
Check the parking lot and look at the cars parked there. Are they junk cars; are they leaking fluids; are they registered and up to date with tags?
Check the grounds. Are there liquor bottles and beer cans, food, fruit rinds, etc. littering the place?
Is the outside, both front and back clean and well kept. In my case the front is presentable, but the back is a totally different – filthy and no maintained well.
Look at the residents as you tour and see if they look unwashed; also check to see if they smell bad or appear drunk or on drugs. Yes, old people smoke crack and abuse alcohol.
Drive by during the day on weekends. Management is usually off and you can see what goes on outside without their supervision to keep them on the straight and narrow.
Make several of these visits before you sign on the dotted line, because problems you see will not be solved after you or your loved one is a resident.

I am not saying that all government funded places are “pits” of crime and filth. Most are not. But please be very careful when choosing one. It would be better to wait a while for one of the good ones. If there is not waiting list, please view this as a sign. I have actually visited several places that would cost me the same amount; however, they are phenomenally better in all ways and they all have a waiting list.

I am so sorry that I have spent one of my valuable last years in substandard housing. My time left is precious and I will not live like this much longer. I am moving to one of those subsidized places that are %1000 better than the one I am in now. My apartment now is owned by what I call a “slumlord.” You know the term – makes tons of money from the poor on his/her substandard property.

Sorry for the tirade, but it is necessary for this to be out there to help all elderly people live good, safe lives. We older people deserve it.

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Privacy

12/15/2014

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The other day I read where some people who work for Sony had their emails read and, I think, posted. At least, we all know what was in them. I cannot fathom anyone being so stupid as to believe that anything we do is private any longer. There are multitudes of people filming what you do with their phones or iPads and you have not given them permission to do this.

Once you send an email to a person, that person owns it and can do whatever he or she wants with it. That person can post it, forward it, and even print it out for distribution. As far as using an office computer goes, it is not your property so you cannot resent that the office reads what you do on it.

I just wonder why people are still being so stupid to make racist comments in public, on the phone, in an email, or anywhere. “Big Brother is watching you,” and it is not the government but your peers, your friends, your co-workers, complete strangers around you. Come on! Get a grip! There is no privacy with phones, computers, tablets, email, etc. It is not going to get any better. The way technology is going, I expect it to get worse.

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Making New Friends

12/7/2014

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Over the years I have had many people in my life who have called me a friend. Many were my friends for decades and some for just a few years, but I treasured them all.

Now it seems I only have telephone friends or Christmas card friends. These are friends I do not see in person any longer. My last personal friend just moved to Los Angeles. We have now become telephone friends.

Of course, there are Facebook friends who comprise all three -telephone, Christmas card, and acquaintances. But these do not really count in my tally. I do not try to get hundreds of people listed as my friends on Facebook. I guess this is because I have a different definition of what a friend is.

It seems that, as time moves along, friendships are harder to make. Seniors might make friends in clubs or church, but the tendency is to just keep the ones we have had and not replace them if anything happens to end the friendship. I think this limits us and our capacity to bond with people.

I find myself in a situation at this time in my life that is not conducive to making new friends. I hope I can remedy this in the near future; it is lonely, for me, to be without friends to interact with personally. I wonder if this is true for all seniors or just in my case. I do not want to become one of those people who live their lives reading books and watching TV - totally devoid of people.

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New Year's Resolutions

Oh, Those Changes!

Christmas Eve Memories

A Place for Mom and Dad

Privacy

Making New Friends

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