I do not want to be a stereotype of old age.  
 
I try not to complain about my aches and pains
all the time.  As someone said a while back, when we get together all we talk about are our conditions. I want to stop that.  Since I now walk with a  cane, I have a “badge”(my cane) that tells people I have disabilities.  I wish I did not have to use it.  I do not want people’s first impression to be that I am old and disabled, since I do not think I am.  

I also do not want to hear about your pain over and over, especially if you do not do anything to ease it. 
As people age, they all have pain. It goes with life.  There is no pain in death.

I do not want to appear poor, either. There used to be an expression of “genteel poverty” and I like this.  I want to live in genteel poverty.  It means to me that although I do not have adequate money to live as I used to live, I can still live a genteel life, i.e., a refined, polite, and well-mannered life - a life that allows me, with some budgeting, to experience those things that bring me joy.

Another effort on my part is to distance myself from that “old” way of thinking that I have to have food given to me whether leftovers from a dinner or a Good Samaritan bringing me food especially cooked for me.  The first signifies to me a type of greediness or desperation (often from people who are better fixed financially than I and do not need all of this food); the second hints that I cannot take care of myself
adequately because I am old.  I beg to differ. 

I do not want to be pitied because I am old. 
I might be closer to death than I was a decade ago, but I am not dying.  I might not live on the income I had a decade ago either, but I am still living and intend to enjoy life the best way I can. I might hurt,
stumble, or sway, but I will still cook, microwave, or snack.  And I will be genteel the whole time.

As I have told you before, I have become a “Miss.”  Well, today I also became a “Dear.”  When I called in my prescriptions this morning, I had difficulty keying in the numbers (thank you arthritis).  The phone call rolled over to the actual pharmacist.  I explained that I had entered a number improperly and the call had rolled over to him.  He very nicely took the numbers and said he would get them ready.  I asked him when they would be ready and he said in about an hour, “Dear.”

I have been told in the past that my voice sounds younger than I am, but I do not think he would have called me “Dear” if he thought I was a young woman.  I guess my prescriptions gave me away – perhaps, only older ladies get these types of prescriptions.  I haven’t been going there long enough for him to know me.

Even though I know these people think they are being courteous to me, I still shudder now when I go out – I am either “Miss Peggy” or “Dear.” 

Alas, they think I am OLD.

Just had another birthday and it caused me to reflect.  That is what I am finding my friends and I do now - reflect on the past. We are creating fewer memories now so we relive the old ones.  I think that is why so many of us are not truly enjoying life.

I am moving again and a friend told me that she hoped I would be happy in the new place. Another friend told me I was too old to keep moving. I responded to the one that wished me well that I was not sure happiness is in my future, but that eliminating some of the money worries might help me to be more content. The one that told me I was too old to move again has lived in the same place for over twenty years - I mean the exact same home.  I do not think I will take her advice.

I have asked myself what would bring me happiness now that I am an older senior citizen.  Love of the opposite sex is not an option because I know that "love" has brought me more grief than happiness.  A lesson I wish I could instill in young women is that you have to already be happy when becoming involved with a man.  The movies are wrong - a man cannot make you happy. You do not live happily ever after as Cinderella.  Realtionships are hard work and you need to be happy already to survive and thrive in one.
 
As I have said before now, I do not have children and thus no grandchildren.  One of my friends gets much enjoyment and happiness from her grandchildren, but she does say that her children do not bring much happiness.  Another friend has been so disappointed with her child.

So what would do it for me?  I guess I could be happy if I could forget all the great things I did before I became handicapped. I am not severly handicapped like some - I still can walk, think fairly clearly, and take care of myself.  For some people that would do it, but I have always marched to a different beat from my friends. I want adventure not complacency, stimulation not contentment, challenge not acceptance.  I just have to find challenging, stimulating adventures. Yeah!

I read an article the other day about a woman who realized that she was not marketable in today's society since she had gotten older and her skill set was not needed any longer. This wonderful woman inspired me. At 63 she went back to college and learned how to create websites.  Realizing that the "young" employers would not look past her age, she started her own successful business creating websites.

Once I get moved, I think I will investigate going back to college and finding something stimulating to learn.  I will let you know what happens.