Many people are aware of this term but none more than senior citizens, I believe.  As seniors, we have lived a long time and have usually had a full life.  Thus, we have accumulated a full life’s worth of stuff.  As we grow older, we eventually have to move to a smaller place and have to “downsize” that stuff.

I was in the middle of “upsizing” when I became ill and was divorced a few years ago; then, I became a downsizer pro.   At that time I had a four bedroom house with two large bathrooms, a screened porch across the entire back of my house, a ½ acre yard, a filled in pool, a two car garage, and all the stuff that went along with it.

I sold furniture, yard equipment, china, crystal, pool decorations, yard ornaments, and outdoor Christmas decorations - everything it seemed that was not nailed down.  I had three garage sales, got to know Craigslist quite well, and met several very nice people in the elimination process.  I had two wonderful friends who were there the whole way.  Their whole families were involved in packing my POD when I sold my house and moved.

I moved several hundred miles away and downsized into a small house with a fenced backyard for my two dogs.  After 1 ½ years there and diminishing funds, I realized that I needed to downsize some more and move to a small apartment.  I could not afford the rent in the city that I had chosen, so I found one in another state.

It was time to downsize again - this time to a 570 square foot apartment.  I did all this online and found a decent place to live in a small town.  I sold all my dining room furniture, my extra bed, the rest of my crystal and fine china, all the table linens I had for the dining room table, my “man cave” couch, the portable dishwasher ( purchased for the little house), most of my pictures, and so much more.  Then I gave to Goodwill – four carloads with the trunk and all seats filled.  I was wondering then how I still had so much stuff.  I had to pay people this time to load my POD and I set off in my car (full with stuff) to my new apartment.

I found out that I cannot live just yet in such a small apartment without a dishwasher, washer, and dryer so I am moving in a few weeks (still in the same complex) to a two bedroom apartment.  I can move my desks and computer equipment out of the living room into the extra bedroom.  I can get my washer and dryer out of storage, and my dogs will have a very small patio to use (no yard, but they are learning to be good apartment dogs). 

When the time comes (I hope in the distant future) that I have to go somewhere to be cared for, I guess I will have to downsize once more.  Some of us seniors eventually end up with nothing.  That makes it easy for the heirs to dispose of our remaining “stuff.”

But for now, I am OK.  I still have a little of my former stuff and all the memories that go with it. Most of all, I am also OK without all my previous stuff (although I miss some of it every once in a while).

We experience many events in the course of life that “define” who we are - “defining moments.”  Many are happy events:  having a baby forever defines us parents, getting married defines us as a couple, receiving an award defines us as winners, etc.  There are also other less happy defining moments:  losing a loved one, getting a divorce, losing a job, etc.  But many of those defining moments can last just a little while, until we have another one and we can become “redefined.”

I remember graduating from college after 10 long years of “putting myself through school” (a defining moment).  I remember getting my first teaching job (another defining moment).  I remember getting married to the man I loved (several defining moments).  I have been fortunate in having many happy defining moments; however, a few years ago I had a major bad one.  I was very ill to the point of dying; after a very long recovery I wanted to “live” my life again as I had done before my illness.

This did not happen the way I wanted.  I was left to deal with a different life and painful losses.  Friends I had for many years left due to my extended illness, I got a divorce and had to sell my home, my physical abilities created problems that forced me to live on Social Security instead of working.  I was not going to be able to “live” my old life. 

I decided that I was not going to be defined by my illness, handicaps, financial status, or age.  I was going to create a new life and “redefine” myself.  However, the trappings of my illness (walking with a cane, not being able to extend my right arm for a handshake, flinching at a painful hug of greeting) continue to attract attention to my physical limitations.  AND people always ask why I walk with a cane.  In the early pain of my recuperation I told them all the sordid details but then, I realized telling it made me relive the whole experience, even though I was doing so much better.

I decided to tell people that I walked with a cane because I had a “bad” right foot. Their next question:  How did it happen?  They always wanted details.  I decided to tell them that a diabetic incident and a long hospital stay caused this.  Their next question:  How did it happen?  I was having a hard time creating another defining moment.  People wanted me to relive the old one.

And many of those same people had defining moments themselves of some major illness that had happened to them or a loved one and they still wanted to share them.  This caused me to remember my former mother-in-law who broke both hips when she was in her 80’s.  I did not meet her until she was in her early 90’s.  She was still living this defining moment with relish.  When she first told me about it and brought out her hospital papers to show me, I looked at her and asked her if she realized that it had been over 12 years since she broke her hips.  She looked at me like I was crazy – in her mind it had happened just a short while ago.  She was constantly reliving that defining moment and did not want to leave it.

I am working hard to redefine myself.  I want to shout Eureka! one day when I have finally created a new defining moment.  Maybe it will be that my new business will become successful or this website goes viral.  Or maybe it will be something totally different.  All that I know is I am ready for it!  Oh, and by the way, age is not going to stop me either.

Well, I just created an adventure for myself, yesterday.  I left my small town in Georgia and headed for the big city of Jacksonville, Florida to a large outdoor shopping mall.  The drive down was wonderful; it took about an hour, but I enjoyed the scenery so much.  I went over a gorgeous bridge (it seems to me that all of the bridges I have crossed since living near the Atlantic Ocean are ships’ sails).  The view from afar was beautiful.  The sky was blue (at this particular time) and the contrast was so dramatic.  I did not hit rain until I was over the bridge.  The forecast had been no rain, at all.  I had my umbrella (a constant companion now that I live near the water and Florida) so I continued onward.

When I pulled into the parking lot, I was so excited to see so many stores and restaurants that I have not been able to visit in quite a few years.  I maneuvered around the cars and stop signs until I found a store I wanted to visit.  It was not raining at the shopping center when I parked and went into the store.  While I was inside, it poured.  A clerk told me that in Jacksonville if the weatherman says no rain, you get tons and when the weather man says 100% rain, you get nothin’.  I know since moving to this area it seems to rain at some point every day.  And I was not going to let getting wet destroy my day.  I got soaked getting to my car, even with an umbrella.  I persevered, however, to the next store and asked for a bag for my dripping umbrella.  I continued my adventure through occasional showers, downpours, and blue skies.  I enjoyed everything so much and did not feel the slightest bit OLD.

I made my way back to Georgia a little tired, but inspired, to do this again and to venture forth one day to St. Augustine, Florida.  I constantly try to prove that I can do things I once did a few years ago before I became ill.  And I am doing it constantly.  I am not OLD and I do not intend to become so for quite a while.

What is OLD?

I have been using this expression in my recent posts and some of you might wonder what I mean by OLD.  Well, I guess it is an acronym for Outlasted Life’s Dreams (OLD).  When we are young we have lots of dreams, goals, wishes, futures ahead of us just for the making.  When we get older we might not have as many.  I find circumstances have left me in a situation in which I have to create my new dreams, goals, and future alone. 

I have no close family and all of my friends live in other cities.  I “speak” to them often and they are usually encouraging about my life.  However, there are and have been some nay-sayers in my recent history.  I have been discouraged about foraging ahead with my future.  This negative attitude creates a very strong feeling of being OLD.

I have had ideas about new businesses – they said no one would use my services.  I have had ideas about this web site – they said that no one would be interested.  Maybe this is so, but please do not discourage me from trying to live a dream.  I need new dreams or I will give in to being OLD.

OLD is Ourlasted Life’s Dreams.

On another note, let's keep remembering on this day and all others hence the wonderful people who died 11 years ago today and who will never get the chance to deal with becoming OLD naturally.  Their lives and dreams were destroyed on 9/11/2001.  How sad it makes me.

One of the discouraging things that can happen when you become OLD is that young people do not want to hear what you say about anything.  They roll their eyes when you talk or they just interrupt you and move onto whatever they wanted to say.  This has happened to me in places where I am paying money to be, i.e., dentists’ offices, doctors’ offices, the YMCA, the gym, department stores, etc.  Of course, there are those young people who have been raised to be courteous, but many of them have glazed looks on their faces or they are busy doing or thinking of something else until you are finished speaking.  Then they smile and continue whatever they were doing for you – not realizing that you “realize” that they have not heard a word you have said.

These young people are not cognizant that you have lived through some exciting times.  Case in point, I was speaking to another older woman who told me about a 17 year old employee her husband has working for him in his pool business.  This man was explaining about the chemicals that are added to pools, ph levels, etc.  The 17 year old looked at him and exclaimed,” I was wondering how I would ever use that stuff I learned in Chemistry.”  DUH!  Recently we had a local election and this man took this 17 year old with him to vote.  The people at the voting site were not busy, so they took this 17 year old and showed him the ropes.  He was thrilled and is looking forward to voting when he becomes 18. 

Once, the two “men” were driving to a home to service the pool and the 17 year old was reading something from his World History book and was astounded to learn that the older man was in the Vietnam War and that he saw Neil Armstrong land on the moon.  We lived that history!

I also become amused that the “new” fashion that the young women are so fascinated by – the shoes (we called them stacks), the flowing skirts (we called them peasant skirts), the very short skirts (we called them mini-skirts) and so many others.  These young people do not realize yet that in twenty years their new and upbeat fashions will be recalled, given new names, and presented as the “new style” of that new time.

There was a time when people created their own toilet paper covers for the bathroom, i.e., crocheted, knitted, and all kinds of other creative things.  As a young person, I laughed at the idea.  Guess what?  They are back and you have to buy them.

What about all the movie remakes?  How many times can you remake Sherlock Holmes, Snow White, Batman, etc.? I don’t really think that the new ones are created to “improve” on the others.  I just think the movie makers want to cash in on the fact that young people have not watched the classic movie channels and seen the old movies. They can sell expensive tickets to see the new ones.  Or perhaps, the “movie makers” cannot create new ideas and therefore, new movies.  Our experienced movie makers are growing OLD.

Point – history repeats itself and at some time these young people will be “has beens.”  But right now they have no history to relate to other than when they lost their first tooth, rode a bike for the first time, or went on a first date.  When their history really starts to develop, they will begin to see some of the looks I see from the younger crowd.  They will not be OLD, but they will on the road there.

When I turned 65 several months ago I did not realize that I had grown old. 

I knew it was inevitable that the body would age as time passed.  I knew that someone who had lived for 60+ years was getting older.  I recognized that my skin has lost its elasticity and my hair its youthful shine.  I knew all of these things but I did not realize that I was OLD.

I was there for the Vietnam War.  There were college protests, sit-ins, moratoriums, draft card burnings, peace talks. We wore the peace symbol, flashed the peace sign, and kept a daily tally on the peace talks.  We believed in making love not war, communes and Earth Day, flower children, love, honesty, and truth.

I wore white lipstick, love beads, tie died T-shirts, bell bottoms, mini-skirts, hot pants, go-go boots.  I was there for the first topless bathing suit and when Sputnik circled the Earth for the first time.

 I related to Hair, Godspell, Jesus Christ Superstar and Jimi Hendricks.  I remember the Studebaker and the Edsel, and watching one small step for man and a giant leap for mankind.

I realize that all these memories prove I have lived for a long time, but I did not realize that I was OLD until recently.  This blog will discuss those things that make me feel old now.