When I was younger, not too long ago, I thrived on change. I moved all the time, I made new friends, but I kept the old, too. I had quite a few special men in my life, but I changed them out, too.

Today, I am 73 and pretty staid in my life. I have lived in this apartment for 5 years, a long time for my housing history, but I am winding down. I plan on staying here, for as long as I can afford it. AS I get older, though, I need less and less.

One change that is happening here is our management staff is changing. On the surface that might sound unimportant, but as I have gotten older, I have interacted and become fond of several of the staff.

One in particular is very good man, who is our Mr. Fix It. He is retired military, has a beautiful wife and several lovely daughters, all of whom I have met. And he worked this job to put them through college.I have been close to him over the years, calling him the son I never had. And I find I am going to miss this wonderful man tremendously when he leaves.

So change is not so pleasing now that I am old. It is not always something good now. I guess I will just have to settle down and accept it - OR NOT!!!

​Maybe it is a time for change to visit Peggy once again.

I got a call last week from a law firm in Gulf Breeze who handled my last will and testament when I was married to my last husband. That was done in 2004. He was the one who wanted it done. That was the first sign I should have paid attention to.

I told them we had divorced 10 years ago and it was not valid. They sent the will, power of attorney, and living will to me. I just received it.

Oh, what a memory this brings - not all bad, because at that time I did not know what he was doing behind my back. So we went through the whole thing, since he wanted to and got it done. He was my beneficiary and I was his.

I had made out a new will, leaving all my  assets to my brother when I moved to Memphis. But it was funny to see all of this past written down and the memories it brought back.

Because- my husband behaved until I got a job and then got bored with me at work. It just so happened that we had a female neighbor living behind us and her husband was in the Navy and out at sea.

Well, Mr. Charming misbehaved and I found out.  I was working and he was playing. spending money that we really did not have to entertain lonely ladies. It is funny, too, because a very much older couple who lived across the hall from us, told me about what was going on.

We had a big argument and eventually moved into the house we were building. He did not see her any more as far I know. Her husband did come back into town so that helped.

Long story to tell you why I have changed my will.

I really have nothing to leave my brother. But maybe he can sell my car and all the furniture I have to pay for my cremation. In Florida it is cheap.

​Well, back to present time. I must walk the dog.

 It has been over month since I wrote on this site. Sorry, but I have quarantined myself inside my apartment since the Coronavirus reared its ugly head in Florida. I have not been sick, and I hope you all are well.

This virus has ruined a lot of people's lives and livelihood.  I never thought I would delighted that I lived on a small Social Security check, until others in my apartment have either lost their jobs or have been reduced to half time.

In the time I have not written, I have connected with two old friends by phone. In fact, I am on the telephone quite a bit since I do not text. yet. No smart phone in the house. So far all of my out of town friends are fine. I do  worry, though. We are all up there in years.

I have been reading constantly at night since TV is mostly reruns - and on Acorn they are all reruns. I went through a dozen books a friend gave me and have to have someone take me to the library. (I will explain why later on). So I am rereading books from our library at this apartment (I had to get permission to go through the roped off area (virus protection) to get some more books. I remember reading them, but with my age and memory, I do not remember who the murderer is.

My dog, Riley, has been a constant companion and I now have outside ownership of a stray cat. She had kittens a while back, and I have friend checking with the Humane Society to see if I can get her spayed by them. She has adopted my porch as her main home. I feed her and a few other cats who have been dumped here. (I live near a really bad neighborhood).

Persephone, yes, that is the mother cat's name, had three kittens and I, with the help of neighbors, found them homes. I do not think I will be that lucky if she has another litter. That is why my friend is trying get me an appointment with Humane Society (she volunteers there.)
 
Oh, the reason I have another concussion is that I fell on my face about 4 weeks ago. I was "chasing kittens" without my cane and turned too fast and fell. When I fall I am dead weight. We had workmen here and they got Antwan from the office and the chief workman to help me up. How embarrassing. I had another black eye, and a concussion. I think I have used my quota for falling.

I also think all those years of dance lessons taught me how to fall and NOT break bones. I hope this last fall is THE last. I am tired of being homebound. When the virus goes away or whatever it does to make life  better for us, I want to go back to the beach.

It appears my old friends are disappearing, not dying. I am 73 and many of them are older women. One of my “ole” friends always must walk the dog, not matter when I call. I got the message and I do not call anymore. She has not called, and I do not expect her to do so. Others never call and I have forced myself to recognize that they do not think of me.

Why is it hard to accept? Well, I do not have children, and most of the relatives that cared about me are gone. My mother raised my brother and me apart- she always stood between us and we did not learn to be family. My friends were always my family.
I had many teacher friends, but once I divorced my last husband they disappeared. I guess they thought I should have stayed, even though I was supporting him, and he was cheating on me.

I remember they did not go all at once back then – maybe they decided to stagger it so I would not be slammed. I remember when I was in the hospital recuperating from that complete body shutdown caused by my husband, my very closest friend walked out on me (in the hospital) when I said I was divorcing my husband (who actually was the cause for me to be in the hospital.)

So, I only have, and am completely happy about, my new friends here in my apartment. I have located a close friend from 50 years ago, and we have reconnected. She lives in Florida but far away from Pensacola – southern east coast. Another friend and I have reconnected on Facebook. She lives in Charleston, SC.
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My only comment about his new status is that I do miss those ole friends, but I have a few of them left and many new younger friends here in Pensacola.
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