Yesterday I woke up with the song from Annie in my mind that starts with “Tomorrow, tomorrow…” This morning, however, I woke up with my mind going back to the past. As someone once said, “A mind is a terrible thing to waste.” It is so wonderful when you think about it, though- where it "can go."

This morning it started with thinking of leaving a Post-it on my door to alert a neighbor where I was, in case she came by. This reminded me of meeting a man who worked at 3M, a long time ago, who told me it was an accident when the Post-it was created. The inventor was experimenting to create something else.

This started a trip to the past. I remember typing with a manual typewriter and I had to literally erase my errors. The mother of one of the “Monkeys,” a former singing group, invented “white out.” We had to use carbon paper to create copies – then the Xerox machine was invented (young people know them as copiers.”). And typewriters went from manual, to electric, to word processor, to computer, to the wonders we have now.

I grew up not knowing if I had missed someone calling me on the phone, until they called back. Then someone invented an answering machine. And phones began their wonderful journey to where we are now.

Invention and creativity are still a marvel and so often overlooked. With the speed everyone is moving, whether personally or professionally, we tend to take everything for granted – EXCEPT those brilliant people who see a need and create something to fill it. They are the ones we see on Facebook, occasionally, with things they have created to make life better.

My little blog is calling out “Congratulations, Good Job, and Thank You” to all of those “inventors” who have made life better for all us.

For the last 6 to 7 months things in my life have ended up broken. First, it was material things. I had my TV and my laptop both bit the dust last winter. The laptop was quite old, but the TV was not. Lately the slot where the batteries go on my old 35 mm camera, will not close – my camera is now broken.

Last winter my heart was broken when I lost my lovely little Pekinese, Bobby Socks. And a brief time later, my trust was broken by an individual (yes, another man). Lately, I have been trying to “fix” a 30-year friendship that seems to be ending – and just the other day, I realized it was broken, as well, beyond fixing. It will probably become a “Christmas card” friendship. So very sad.

I have been going through a trying time financially and that, or course, causes a few breaks in normal living, too. I am hoping when this eases in the next few months, other things or people will materialize to replace my “broken ones.” Perhaps it is Karma clearing the way for new things?
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And even though I seem to have these things “break” around me, my spirit is still holding up. It is hard to break the spirit of a hardheaded woman. I guess that is a good thing, huh?

Last night I was watching “Campion,” an old show on Britbox. Campion is a detective who is polished, intelligent, well dressed, educated and a perfect gentleman. He even has a gentleman’s manservant, Lugg, a reformed burglar. At the end of the show last night, a woman says to Campion, “You are the only person I ever met who did not turn out to be an error in judgement.” I choked and started laughing. I went to bed chuckling, and I am still laughing this morning.

Anyone who has known me for a while and knows anything about my romantic associations with men will agree with me when I say, this fits them all. ERRORS IN JUDGEMENT!  My judgement.

I have thought over the years, “Oh, this man is perfect!” And unfortunately, they all, yes, they all have been errors in judgement. They have disappointed me; they have hurt me, either physically or mentally. And yes, they have even left me for someone else.

I seem to attract men. I do not know why, but I do. Unfortunately, the ones who want a romantic friendship, all, and I mean all, have fit this description. I once said that you could line up all the good men in the world and include one bad one, and I would pick that bad one. It is a gift – one I really do not want.

So, my friends, now that I am older (70 to be exact) and have many, many years of dating and romantic experiences, I have at least recognized this fault of mine. I will keep these errors in judgement at bay. Being hurt now takes a while to get over. It happened in the last few months. I made another one of my errors in judgement and it made me sad. Fortunately, it was not a major hurt, but it still hurt. So, I will get a magic potion to ward off all romantic interests. It still makes me sad that I must be alone. But it is safer that way.
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One of the recent discoveries in my life is that I am not really valued, even now. My number of friends has depleted mainly because I want something in return for my friendship – true friendship, understanding, and courtesy. I have a few very good friends who give me the above. I treasure them, although they are few. My biggest problem, though, is me.

I reach out to everyone and offer my friendship to those I meet. But my ability to see the unsatisfactory ones is nil. I usually get hurt, sad to say. And you would think I would learn from this. But I still do it. I must be related to Pollyanna.

My relationship with men, not the friends, but the ones who want me as a special friend, is dismal. My friends and I laugh about my ability to attract “unsuitable” partners. I am glad I am able to laugh now; there was a time of tears. One of my newer friends said just the other day that she was going to have to change her opinion about me and my men. She had once said that I just had not found a decent one; there was one out there for me. But now she says I am right – I only attract the ones who want to use me in some way or another. The good ones evidently are already taken or at, my age, dead.

Example – since moving to Pensacola I have met several men - they do seem to like me. One is my neighbor; he and I are friends and he is a good one. I have met a couple who are married to friends and they are wonderful. But the ones in my life, both recent and long ago, leave much to be desired. Without a fault, they are and have been the same – out for what they want and need, and what they can get – to hell with the woman.

I thought I had met one, since moving here. He sought me out, wined and dined me, but then I became a last-minute lunch invitation because he was going to be in my neighborhood on an appointment; he knew he was going to be there way before he called me. In fact, it got so he called an hour or so before wanting to see me. Bong!!! It finally hit me that he really did like me enough to think about me until he was in my neighborhood, and he just did not want to eat alone. UGH!!!!

So even though I do not want to travel the rest of my life alone, it looks like I probably will be doing just that. I guess when I can get the funds together, I will go to new places and see new things and revel in that. Hopefully, I will adjust even better to the fact that I am alone, since it is very apparent that I am and always will be.
 
 
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​Have you ever wondered when it is time to stop “tilting at windmills?” If that reference does not mean anything to you, it refers to a literary character, Don Quixote, who fought windmills with his lance, because he thought they were his adversaries. So my questions still stands – when is it time or at what age should you stop “tilting at windmills?”

I have always, since a young girl, tried to right wrongs as best as I could. I have been known to take on opponents to solve all types of problems. I am wondering if all of this trying to right wrongs might have become passé now as I have gotten to a very old age, and it does not appear that others think as I do.

​As I look around, I do not see many people doing what I think needs to be done. I guess I am truly out-of-date now. Some of my hopes and dreams for the future have failed while others have succeeded. Maybe it is time for me to put away my lance and accept what is. That will be very hard for me, though, because deep within me there still lives that hope for change.