As the years pass, I find that I have hung onto many things, events, and people.
Although I have moved many times over my lifetime and I got rid of a lot of “things” when I would make a move, I still kept hanging onto many things that have a memory attached.
Photographs are an example of these things.I kept photos of every place I travelled even if they were not particularly good ones. I have school pictures of my friends in elementary and high school. I
have pictures of people I met over the years and I cannot remember who they are or where the photos were taken.
But still I keep them. The box and albums are packed in one whole container now.
I have special decorative “things” that I cannot bear to get rid of, even though they do not fit in my present lodging and probably will not fit in the next one. I have furniture that does not really fit, but it is
stored. I have awards and commendations that do not really mean anything now, but I still keep them.
But I guess the one thing I have really had a hard time getting rid of is people that became my friends many years ago.
I have really hung on to them, until recently. Circumstances a few years ago forced me to take another look at these
friendships. Several people left my life of their own accord, and I was heartbroken, although they really had not been active in my life in a long time. Yes, they answered the phone when I called but did not call me. Yes, they came to parties and dinners
but did not invite me to theirs. When I was ill and a friend walked out of my hospital room, never to return to my life, I was forced to look at my old friendships more closely. I was trying to continue friendships that were over. I was trying too hard to hold onto something that was long gone. I analyzed more of my
“friendships” and was forced to face the fact that they were over and had been
for a long time. I did not call, invite, or contact them, and they did not call, invite, or contact me ever again. Talk about hard!!!!! But I eventually managed to get over the loss and make new friends.
My point is that it is hard to look at life as a new adventure as we grow older. It is easier to hang onto the past. It may not be very rewarding, but it is safe. Safe seems more important than it is in life when life is getting shorter. Even if my life is not lasting much longer, I am trying to be open to making it fuller with new things,
experiences, and friends.