Blog Archives

Response to OOPS Post

5/31/2014

I just received a response from someone who says I have maligned her in my "Oops!" post. She said someone else told her that I had written about her in this post about racism. I am sorry that both people involved felt a pinch when reading this post. And I am sorry that they recognized the incident and it upset them so much. Why were they so upset? According to them I told it all wrong. perhaps we remember the incident differently.

It is nice to know that one of them is praying for me and all my twisted thoughts. She says my illness has twisted my memories. Perhaps it did. Since that person walked out of my hospital room, angry, many months after her racist comments, and never returned, we could not discuss anything. She never came back and never called after that night. She disappeared.

But now 6 years after the comments, she has reappeared angry over what I have said. I have never used names so she and her confident must remember the event - even if she says I have misspoken.

I was sorry to lose her friendship because of my illness or whatever reason she had for walking out of my hospital room. We had been friends for a very long time and I missed her. It took long time to come to terms with the loss. I eventually figured that out that the friendship was already over when I got sick. I had been living in another city previously and I came to terms with the fact that the friendship had ended while I was gone. Stuff like that happens. No one is to blame. The "iffy" friendship was not strong enough to endure the ensuing six months of my recovery, either.

I am very sorry that something I said here made her so angry. Politics do that. And so does racism.

0 Comments

Am I Getting OLD?

5/30/2014

0 Comments

I think I might be getting old. Oh, I know my body is – major illnesses and traumas have aged it so much it might be the equivalent of 100 years old. No, I think my mind might be getting older.

I have always poo-pooed older people who did not go out in the rain for their outings. I still go, but it seems more of a hassle. I have to walk so far when I go to the Y (one street over) and with an umbrella and a cane, it is not easy. So some days, I postpone my trip to the Y if it is raining hard. But that’s not all.

I have several things I need to do on my laptop, but I am postponing it all. Another hassle! It involves reading complicated directions to accomplish something I really want to do. I also need to reprogram my DVD player since getting Comcast. This also involves getting out the instructions and following them step by step. I did both things a couple of years ago and I must admit I sweated a bit then. Now I seem to be postponing these two things, even though both would make my life better. Why am I doing this?

I used to be challenged by new things and products. I could not wait to figure everything out. I was an IT specialist a few years ago and I accomplished amazing things, if I say so myself. Everyone in my department thought I was unbelievably smart and great at what I did. Now all this does not seem like fun any longer.

The problem here, I believe, is that old brain. It has been around for all those illnesses and traumas with my body. I try to challenge it daily – I play games, I read, I do this website. But I must need something else to get me going – brain wise. I go to the Y to work physically on my body. But I must need more for my brain. What can I do?

Is this old age or just being tired of hassles? I have had many in my life. I have come back from the dead once; I have come back from extreme poverty twice. I have survived divorce more than once; I have conquered being totally alone without family or friends several times. My life has been a struggle and I wonder if that is what all this procrastination is about. Am I old or am I just tired?

I know that I will eventually fix that laptop thing and I will reprogram that DVD player. I will walk in the rain with my umbrella and cane, too. I will do these things, because I do not want to give up being “young at heart.” I do not want to be “old” in my mind, either. I am just going to have to keep plugging along, accomplishing what I need to do

It really is about attitude and perseverance, I believe – not old age.

0 Comments

Remembering

5/22/2014

0 Comments

Seniors are often condemned for remembering back to a former time. As I have recently moved back to my old home town, I have found myself remembering everything from 50+ years ago. I have gotten in contact with friends from back then and have met new people from those days. My 50th reunion is coming up and I cannot imagine the “flooding” of memories as I reconnect with all my fellow graduates. Our class was very big and I do not even know half of my classmates, much less those immediately before and after me. Talk about remembering!

People suffering from dementia and Alzheimer’s usually move back in time to their past. I understand why. Even though it is not a conscious effort on their part, they go back to a time when their parents and siblings were alive, or in my former father-in-law’s case, back to when they felt worthwhile. They had jobs, families, and just plain old lives that made them feel good about themselves. When extremely ill or sad, why not remember better times?

Healthy seniors remember for the same reason as a very ill person. Going back to when life was full of hope is much better than facing up to a present life full of pain, loss of mobility, loss of friends and family, and most of all loss of income. So many seniors do not have a great pension much less a golden parachute. Many had one but illness, divorce, or other setbacks have taken the security away. Now it is a time of “killing time.” And what better way than remembering better times!

So the next time you are feeling impatient with an older person “remembering,” you need to understand that it could easily be you in a few years. Instead of criticism or disdain, try listening to what is remembered. It could give you a view into history or even give you a view into your future life. Who knows? Things happen.

0 Comments

I Do Not Text

5/20/2014

0 Comments

As more and more of my older friends get I-phones I am finding myself left way behind. They have started texting their young relatives and now their older friends. Some have done it reluctantly- their children or loved ones got them the phone. Others just decided to move with the times.

I do not have an I-phone. First and foremost because I cannot afford one. Their cost is bit much to me and their monthly phone service is more than I can afford with my limited budget. But I am not sure I want one for personal use, anyway.

Here is why. When I am with friends, attending an event, or just grocery shopping, I do not want to be interrupted by my phone. I do not give many my cell phone number for this reason. Note: I have a cell phone just for emergencies.

I really like "talking," too. I use email, but I prefer to hear my friends' voices on the phone. I like the "personal" touch. It takes more time to call and talk than to send a cold message even if it says, "I miss you." Person to person - not phone to phone.

Also, I do not want to be one of those people who is always looking down at a phone. It is so limiting to me. Life is going on and no one sees what is happening unless someone else posts it. AND I do not believe much of what is posted is truly that important. Just look at Facebook. People tell you what they are doing at the moment - bored a work, takings "selfies," and other things I do not really care about. This would be magnified more with an I-phone and texting. UGH!

So, until someone or something forces me to get a phone and start texting, I will be settled back in the recent past with my old phone. I realize I will probably be alone since no one calls to really talk anymore. But at least I will be looking up and seeing life as it passes me by.

0 Comments

Teacher of the Year

5/10/2014

0 Comments

I just heard on the national news that the teacher of the year is an English teacher. I want to congratulate this young man first for being such a great teacher and second, I want especially to congratulate him for doing it as an English teacher. Teaching English is so hard because it involves reading and writing, and it is even harder to receive recognition for teaching efforts in this field.

I was a high school English teacher. I was never even nominated for teacher of the year within my school, much less any higher. But I enjoyed the experience and worked hard to help my young people forge ahead in the world of reading and writing. I tested their abilities constantly.

It was rarely quiet in my room because I created competitive games with teams (based on rows in the rooms) while adding contingencies for cheating. They were high school students and they wanted to win, at any cost. There was a lot of laughter when "cheaters" were caught and the whole team lost points. The reward did not matter; it was the winning. The slower students learned in spite of themselves, just by listening.

I used recordings to teach literature, especially Shakespeare. I would play the recording of the play we were studying scene by scene and the students would follow along with their books.(I tricked them into "reading" the play.) One of my greatest memories is of a student who was sent to the office by another teacher right before my Julius Caesar class. She was a little late to my class but had a note from the principal. He told me later that she asked to come back after my class for her punishment since "We are killing Caesar, today." He said he had to let her do it because she was so excited about an English class.

I am not relating my techniques for teaching Shakespeare because I think I should have received an award; I am an older retired teacher who loves remembering her successes as an English teacher. I received my rewards back then and I get to remember those experiences now. I think that is a good footnote for any career.

When we reach our senior years it is so nice to look back at the good times. I am fortunate because I have a lot of them to remember. I hope you do , too.

0 Comments

Out of It

5/6/2014

0 Comments

As you age and enter that phase called senior, do you feel out of it? I mean out of society? Do you feel that your importance as a person is over? I am not talking to people who have scads of money coming in from stocks, investments, large pensions, or savings. I am talking to those of us who have a small fraction of what we once earned as income now. I personally have an income that is less than 1/5 of my income before I retired. Circumstances beyond my control took my “retirement” savings. Now, I feel out of it and I resent it.

Everything I see promotes a use for wealth. New cars, I-phones and their plans, all computer devices, resort vacations, expensive senior housing sites, rising food, gas, and insurance prices and even a place for seniors to live -all have made me feel so unimportant – all because I have a very small income.

Even Churches have gotten bigger and bigger thus demanding more and more money to operate. So much for the Bible, that says that if any two people join in worship, it is a church. Not today. “BIG” is the word for churches and what they must have to succeed in this world.

Years ago I was instructed in the value of patience, kindness, generosity, love for humans and animals, and faith. Now our old values are valueless. Money and the things that can be bought are what are valued. My values and I are out of it. I am so sorry for those people who have the love of money and what it can buy as their only value. I am also sorry for all those companies who do not value those of us who are in the second half of our lives.

I for one will “buy” when I can from people and companies who have some values and do not focus on the bottom line so much. The list is growing shorter, BUT no one will care as I become more and more out of it – except me.

0 Comments

OOPS!

5/1/2014

0 Comments

Another bigot, racist, sexist, etc. spoke and was recorded. It happens all the time - the Clippers owner, the farmer who owes the government millions of dollars, and even a politician running for President. The awful thing about people like this is that they are so arrogant that they speak and assume everyone agrees with them. Many years ago, no one called them on it. Thanks to our advances in technology they are recorded and the media calls them on it.

Today, I like to think that we as a society, although flawed, are better than we were when I was young. However, we still have those arrogant, self-centered people who think they are right and insist on telling us their thoughts. I had an acquaintance tell me during the 2008 Presidential election that she would not vote for Barrack Obama – not because he was a member of the other party, not because he did not seem to support her beliefs, but because he was black. I called her a racist, and she was shocked – first that I did not agree with her and second because she did not believe she was. This woman was a librarian in a school that had a completely black student body and a majority black faculty. If they had known her thoughts she would have been fired - BECAUSE, now, there are those of us who do not tolerate such speech.

When are all these narrow-minded people going to realize that they are in the minority now and keep their mouths shut? Most of us want to eliminate our prejudices and are trying so hard to do so. Because we are going through this cleansing process, we do not tolerate their racism, sexism, and bigotry. When will their arrogance be replaced with the knowledge that they are not in the majority any longer and that we do not care what they think? When is their stupidity going to replaced with the knowledge that when they open their fouls mouths someone will be recording them?

0 Comments

Response to OOPS Post

Am I Getting OLD?

Remembering

I Do Not Text

Teacher of the Year

Out of It

OOPS!

Author

Archives