Over the years, I have experienced tremendous kindness from people. I cannot list them all here – too numerous to count. And now that I am older and suffer from the effects of old age, I am experiencing various forms of kindness from strangers, as well as friends.

I walk with a cane to keep from falling, and people, young and old, hold doors for me, even though I can open a door on occasion. They allow me to go first in line, they pick up anything I might drop – all wonderful examples of unnecessary kind behavior.

Recently, I was at the Publix grocery store and when I came out my car battery was dead. No noise from the engine. I got out and raised my hood and immediately a Publix employee who was returning baskets came to my aid. Luckily, she had cables in her car, but she needed to get permission to pause in her grocery duties to help me. I walked with her to talk to her boss and of course, being Publix, they said it was OK. (They are big on making customers happy.) She brought the cables but was unsure of what to do, when a young man pulled up beside my car and asked if I needed help. He charged my car and off I went to my home, but not before I hugged that sweet employee and tell her I thought she was wonderful. I also thanked that young man for coming to my aid.

When I got home, I went to see my neighbor across the hall. He, of course, offered to help but the car needed another charge and he had no cables. The landscape people were there, eating lunch in their trucks, and they offered to charge my car. More kindness to a stranded old woman!!!

My neighbor lent me the money until pay day to get another battery. He has been so helpful over the last 2 years that I have known him. He just gives – never wants anything in return. He had come over just last Sunday night to fix the smoke alarms that were beeping. I had gone over to borrow a step ladder and he would not hear of my fixing them. He is the definition of kindness.

I have another neighbor who was with me the night my little Pekinese dog died. She was a nurse and she checked him out and assured me he was not in pain. The next day she drove me to the crematorium in another county. I was so distraught I did not even remember how we got there. So, when the apartment office exhibited “unkindness” by refusing to accept my dog’s ashes the next day, this dear neighbor went back with me to make sure I could find the crematorium. She has been there to listen when I needed to talk about my dear little friend. A very kind person.

Kindness lives in most people. I for one am going to remember all of these things when the “unkind” people in this world mouth off. I believe there are more kind people out there than unkind ones. They just do not get the press that they deserve. Our world focuses too much on the bad. But from now on, I am going to focus on all of the kindnesses that people have shown me. The unkind people are not worth one thought.

“I have been rich, and I have been poor, but rich is better.” This saying popped into my head recently and made me smile. It was supposedly said by Sophie Tucker or Mae West depending on what you read. But it does ring true for me. I thought I would share it with you. Although it was said quite a while ago, it is still true. Rich is better, for sure.
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You would think that by the time you reach the age that I am, that you would be so numb to disappointments in life that they would have not any impact on you. When you reach the senior years of life, you have experienced just about every kind of loss and disappointment. You should be hardened to any other unpleasant thing that might happen in your present.

Chances are you have lost your parents; friends have quietly disappeared from your life. Pets that you loved are gone, and so are the houses you once lived in. Income is less because you cannot or do work as much as you used to do. So why is it that you can still feel disappointment or loss over a small event in your present life? I just have and I am surprised at how much it has bothered me.

It appears that I have lost another friend, albeit a new one, because I explained my feelings about something. Obviously, I must stop doing this and keep counsel with myself. It appears that even people who are my age want what they want and do not want to consider others. How can this happen when life has "knocked us out" at one time or another?

I imagine that I will have to accept that I cannot express what I feel for fear of losing someone who feels differently. It appears that I will have to accept their feelings to the negligence of my own. I really do not feel that it should be this way, but it appears that I must be odd; no one feels the same way I do.

Well, I have been hurt once again for expressing my needs or wants. I will get over it as I have many times before. I really wish I was a different person, but it is a little late too change
 
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I am sorry but this is another not so light comment. I will try to do better on my next post.

What makes your life worthwhile? Is it family? Or your work or your play? I have been thinking about this for a while since I am getting older, and those things that meant so much to me before are gone. I have no close family in my life nor do I work at a job anymore. I really am not able to play like I used to do.

Aging is hard. If you do not have someone to “grow old gracefully” with you, it can be a drudge. I have always had pets, since I did not have children. My pets were what kept me focused on life – theirs and mine. I believe it is good for an older person to have a pet – it gives us a purpose and some company. Oh, and the male partners I had left long ago.

I just lost my 7th dog in a “long line” of dogs. He was old, as I am, and we were a good pair. I cannot, however, get another pet as so many have me urged me to do. First a young pet would live longer than I will. Second an older pet will have medical expenses that I cannot afford. Some have suggested “fostering” a pet. But I fear the pain of loss each time they found a “good home.” Therefore, I sit here without a pet or person in my life and I wonder what do I have.

I have bills, I have neighbors, I have Sunshine (live in Florida). But I do not have activities that I enjoy because I do not have money. All of that planning with a 401K wiped out by illness. You would be surprised how many I know whose 401K went the way mine did, right after we retired. Major illness can knock it out. I guess it is good that we had it to pay and pay until it was gone. But it has left us with Social Security and old age and all the bills that go with it.

Therefore, in reference to my first question – I need something worthwhile in my life. I have noticed that my male friends have found an interest or activity to replace a deceased wife, divorced wife or just anyone in general. I envy them. They are involved in things they enjoy. The things I enjoy cost more money than I have and my physical abilities have been altered by that illness that depleted my 401K. I am pretty much “up a creek without a paddle.”
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The search goes on for anything relatively free to make my life more enjoyable, without causing any more hurt. I have no intent to stop living – just want something different.
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