Forgiveness sounds so good. I have tried not to hurt people over the years, but if you are human, you know that it is inevitable that you will step on someone’s toes and hurt them. I try to be a good person and learn to “live and let live.” I have become less judgmental as I have gotten older and I try very hard to understand those I do not understand. As others have done, I was rash, when young, in my decisions and moved forward hurting others in the process. I regret this, but as I said I was young. When young, you do not stop to assess the situation as readily as later, when you are older.
I am no longer young, and I do try to be better. However, I seem to wear my emotions on my sleeve and I get hurt easily now. Forgiveness is hard. It takes a while – sometimes years. I have found that divorcing and forgiving a man takes me over 5 years for the forgiveness to set in, if he hurt me during the marriage. That means I am still hurting and that’s not good.
My mother used to tell me that she could forgive but not forget. I realize now that if you really cannot forget the treachery, the abuse, or just all the pain that was caused, you cannot forgive. And forgiveness is where the peace is.
Forgiveness is very hard. But I think it is worth trying to find. You are the one who really benefits from forgiveness, not the one you forgive.