Since joining a local senior center, I have found so many seniors who are literally waiting for God to take them to heaven - they want to die.  I find this so sad.  These people have lived full lives, loved, laughed, raised children, had grandchildren, and so many other wonderful things, but they are ready to die.  Why?

This center does everything in its power to make life enjoyable for their members.  They provide bingo, Zumba, TOPS, bowling, trips, lunch, parties, etc. 
BUT many are obviously not happy. They are waiting for God.

Some people are infirm or in pain, and others are alone or are taking care of an infirm partner. Some have lost partners to death or divorce and are alone. BUT why is life over?  Why die?

In a recent blog, I mentioned smiling as a deterrent to depression. How can we get smiles into these
peoples’ lives?  They are sad and do not want to be here anymore.  One man told me he would like to go to God that very day.  My heart went out to him.

The pain and suffering of the elderly is something that is not addressed by anyone in power. Powerful people are fueled by their power of course, but are also fueled by money.  Quite a few of the people I have met are very poor and in their 80’s. Pension plans and 401K’s were not available to them to prepare for their senior days. Also, many of them have lost all that they saved to illness, either their
own or their spouse’s.

I do not have an answer for this dilemma; I want things in my own life to be better.  I am poor due
to illness, but I still have hope that I can, in some way, “come back” to a better life.  It has been hard for me to accept the fact that no one wants me or my work experience anymore.  If I had the funds or good health, I would do quite a lot of charity work or volunteering. Right now I have neither so I am still looking for an answer.

What bothers me about some of the seniors whom I have met is that they have no hope to help them look for alternatives.  They are ready to die. This is a sad statement about our society. We want to forget the elderly and focus on the young. The elderly, in turn, want to go to God, because life on earth is so hard.

Smiling 

As we age, we find fewer and fewer things to make us smile.  Loneliness, money problems, health
issues, or any worry that we have can bring smiling to a halt. If we do not smile very much, there is a good chance that we will become depressed or “feel out of sorts,” if you like.  Unchecked, this feeling can create a sense of life being over - with no more happy times in our future.  
 
I often feel depressed and have analyzed why this is
happening so much. Much of my depression is the result of choices I have made in my life, my health, my physical limitations, my age, and my finances, but mainly I become depressed because I have no real purpose in life. 

Working at my job as an IT Specialist and before that a high school English teacher gave me a sense of purpose and made me happy because I met so many interesting people and was able to help many of them. Perhaps, you were a parent and, of course, that consumed your life AND made you feel worthwhile.  Maybe now your kids are all grown up and you find that you have time on your hands.  It is a shame that when we retire, our sense of worth is tied to “what we did for a living.” When we do not do what we used to do, we have a tendency to feel worthless.  
 
Now, I am searching for SMILES because I do not think one can actually smile and remain depressed. 
I will look for anything that can bring a smile, even a small one, to my face and my heart.  Maybe if I
search for smiles, I will forget what depression is. 
I have already found a few things that can make
me smile. I have two very cute dogs who love to entertain me with their actions.  I have started watching more comedies on TV.  I send and
receive emails of pictures of cute animals, people doing ridiculous things, funny signs, ridiculous misleading newspaper titles, and the like. I smile and my mood lifts. 

If you have a “smile” to send me, send it to missmaudiesmenagerie@gmail.com. 
I will appreciate it and forward it on.

I watched the episode where J. R. was buried for "old times sake."  This was a nice trip down memory lane.  All those wonderful actors that were in the original series came to the funeral.  It was so good to see them again, since for many of us "Dallas" was a show that we watched every week and got caught up in the shenanigans of J.R. and his family.

Although the people that attended the funeral were actors, they genuinely seemed very sad that J. R. (Larry Hagman) was gone.  The tears seemed very real and I am sure the older actors really did share a tear for Larry.  I did.  He was the man who taught us to love and hate a character at the same time.

The orginal show ran from 1978-1991.  I have been remembering what I was doing those years.  I guess that is what happens when we "relive" an event.

The late 70's were remarkable, and so were the 80's.  I was a young woman then, involved in dating, my career of teaching, fun with friends, etc.  It is nice to remember those times.  It is funny, but I only remember the good times.  I guess that is a blessing when you are older and there are not so many good times in the present.

Anyway, I say good-bye to Larry Hagman and J. R. Ewing.  Thanks for the memories and I am glad you got to reprise your role in your 80's.  That in itself gives us hope that life can continue and be full, no matter how old we get.

I have relocated a few times in the last years and I have discovered something that has invaded my comfort zone. 

I have mentioned in previous posts the number of my friends dwindling as I grow older.  So far I have been lucking in not losing any of my friends to death.  As you age, however, you realize the possibility is closer than you would like.

When younger, we made friends with people at work, with neighbors, with schoolmates, etc.  When we age we stop working, meeting our new neighbors, going to school, etc.  The outlets for friendships have evaporated.

What has caused me some discomfort is that I seem to meet people who evidently have "enough" friends.  Making friends as you age tends to be harder than when younger.  You keep the ones you have and make no effort to find new ones.

I have really tried to meet people, but I find, as I age, that I do not find as many people who are like me - the ones I would like to be friends rather than acquaintances.  And many of the people I meet let it be known, sometimes in no uncertain terms, that they already have enough friends and are not interested in forming new friendships.

In analyzing this, I have realized that I am not really alone in this dilemma; there are quite a few people who would like to make new friends.  That is why there are so many sites and organizations that cater to us seniors.

I have joined many such groups and have investigated many sites, but the number of friendships I have formed is very small.  This makes me sad and, of course, lonely.  That is the whole point - getting older becomes more of a solitary event than a joint one, especially for those of us without a partner.  

I have never been a solitary person, but I find I spend more and more time alone.  This is especially hard since I love being around people and love interacting with them.

Is this a statement about my future and other seniors - is it a "given" that seniors will be lonely?  I hope not.