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Not Graceful Any Longer

2/28/2021

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​Sunday morning I watch all the morning shows. I do not watch church shows, but that is another post. Anyway, I was watching a commercial, yes, a commercial, where a young woman gets a stepladder to step up to a high shelf to get some high-heeled pumps (that is another story, too). I had to laugh (better than crying.)


Step-ladders - I have one step up stool - gave away ladders. Why? The last time I stepped up on a two step ladder, I fell off; luckily it was by the bed. All those years of climbing up, sliding down, racing around getting ready, doing four things at once, etc. have gone with age. And I hate it.

I hate that the graceful dancer of old is gone. She has been replaced with an ungraceful faller. It appears that the "eye" I had to have to pirouette on a toe has been gouged out. I cannot turn now with both feet working. I have lost that perfect balance. I seem to have lost all balance.

My mind is not as sharp, but that is OK. My body has been maimed, but I am managing. I walk with a cane, but I walk. But I cannot climb a two step ladder without falling.
​

Old age and aging bodies are not acceptable. I bet that has been said more than once. Let me be perfectly clear - I am not complaining about getting older - that is inevitable. BUT please let us grow older slowly and gracefully so we can keep up appearances of our former grace.

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Yesterday Was Different

2/21/2021

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Yesterday my day was different. I actually went out to shop and pick up meds. I still am not cleared to drive alone without my neighbor - she says. But I am driving. Maybe my real life is coming back partially. Not many places to go with the pandemic for fun, but shopping will do, and maybe in a short while a little trip to see our bay that empties into the Gulf of Mexico.

Today is Hallmark Channel Day - mysteries all day. I do not consider them excellent but they keep me company for a while. And I am feeling more like myself every day.

Today I made muffins. AND I am also planning for dinner. When I went to the doctor recently I had lost weight (9lbs) and I have not been trying consciously to do this. BUT I have not been eating lately - sometimes not very much.

But today I made muffins and I am fixing a new  frozen "chicken bowl" for dinner. True, it is not cooking, but it is a real meal.

It is warming up a little - above freezing so I can uncover my patio plants and water them well. We had weather in the high 30's a few days ago - not normal for here and I think some more weather is coming our way soon. But today it is going up to 61. The whole week is supposed to be in the 60's. That is better.

I am sorry that this post is so mundane, but my life is. I am optimistic that things will keep getting better for me and the rest of the country. And gradually "life" will return for us. This waiting is so boring.

I will probably post again soon and maybe, I will have something to post. Stay healthy and keep thinking positively. I will try to do that, too.
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Life During a Pandemic

2/18/2021

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.During my lockdown for the virus, I am forced to do only a few things, over and over. The early morning involves lots of coffee and meds so I can get going. A few years go I was ready to go someplace by 9 AM. Now it is more like 11 AM. In addition to the complications around the pandemic, I also have some issues with my daily activities.

Now that I am in self-promoted exile from fun outside activities, I have to watch all those reruns on TV. I understand that where. there used to a show or movie filming, it is probably quarantined as I am.

My hands right now are really looking old with odd knuckles from arthritis, broken nails, and lines and blood vessels prominent. All this writing above is to prepare for what I am going to say now - warning it is not very intelligent - just something I am wondering as I watch all those commercials with all those reruns.

Where do they find these hand models for their products. I saw some beautiful hands in a commercial for lotion. I have heard that there hand models, but now I understand. Now I wonder what their faces look like. Are they beautiful, too, or just plain or worse. 

Now at 74, I do not think I could model anything that shows my body or face. Guess I will have to consider a different career. Maybe, I should become a counselor, since I am old and wise now. 

I think this started me thinking because I had neighbors coming and checking on me. AND I live in a senior facility. No one is young here. But these two neighbors, not close friends or anything, came by to see if I was OK. They had not seen me around and were worried. I assured them I was OK and staying inside a bit more because of the COVID.


Well, I will finish this rambling post and sign off for now. I am OK health wise, but just short of sane with all of this isolation. That does not mesh with my personality.

Stay healthy, my friends.
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    I am a retired teacher and IT trainer who has travelled a bit and learned many life lessons.

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