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Been There, Done That

2/23/2017

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One of the things that younger people either love or hate about us, when we grow older, is that we talk about things we did in the past.  Well, that is because when they do something, we remember that we have “been there, and done that,” too. I find that the time before me now is much shorter than those times behind me, and it is nice to remember those years of long ago.

When I comment that, I was once a majorette, people look at me and marvel that such a thing could have been. If I mention that my last job was an IT Specialist, they are amazed. Well, if you look a little deeper at a senior person, you might be surprised at what you find.

I was always interested in my friends’ mothers and fathers. To me they were living history. I had a friend whose mother’s “boyfriend” wore white suits and road a streetcar to visit her. When they were married they were so poor that they had to share a one bedroom apartment with another couple – slept in the same bedroom in twin beds! How different from now.

I think of older people as living history. I have friends who are 15 years older than I am, and I love talking to them about their lives. Everyone has a history, and even if they do not think it is interesting, it can be. The fact that my one of my older friends is black and experienced discrimination and segregation first hand is interesting. I was a little girl and just a very young woman when they fought for their rights. Living History.

People with aging conditions like Dementia seem to go back to previous times, perhaps when they were happier. Do not wait for that to happen. I say- Go back now.
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So, my thoughts on this are if you are older like I am, do not feel guilty going back in time. There are many more years back there than are probably in your future. Also, your body was younger and could do more things. Relish in the past experiences and live in it once in a while. When you think, “been there, done that,” go back and remember those times.
 
 
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A quick Post

2/19/2017

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 I want to thank you for your kind posts about my Pekinese. I  miss him terribly, since he was my  "last child." It is still too soon to expect the grief to be gone, since I truly am now alone, but it is abating a bit.

​I am at a loss at what to do with my days, and wonder if I will ever be "needed" again. Some have suggested rescuing another dog, but I really cannot afford another one; and I do not want to outlive my dog. 

​So this few days without him have been empty and the grief has been  profound. It gets a little better, but it is refusing to go, just yet. I guess he deserves a few days since he gave me so many good years of his life.

​Again, thanks to all of you who have expressed your condolences here, online, and in person. So many of you know what it is like to lose a dog, that is not just a dog.

​I next post will go back to the normal things I post.
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A Sense of Purpose

2/17/2017

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I believe everyone has a sense of purpose. It can change over the years, but I feel it is important to have one. I also believe it makes life worth living.

Over the years, as we grow older, this sense of purpose can change. For some it is taking care of a family, others doing something in their lives that helps others - anything that makes it necessary to get out of bed. I believe that we could help many depressed people get out of depression by helping them to discover a sense of purpose that does not involve their depression.

My own sense of purpose has changed over the years, and now that I am a senior it has been much different. I never had children and I am not close to the few relatives I have. Not their fault – mine. I have devoted my time and efforts on several endeavors that in turn gave me a purpose.

A few years ago, I became very ill and was not supposed to survive, much less live a full life. I did both, and for the last few years my purpose was to take care of the family I had – my two dogs. A little over two years ago, I lost Courtney who was a Shih Tzu rescue at 6 years old. She was 15 years old when she died. I was left with Bobby Socks, a Pekinese, who was then 8 years old.

Very recently I lost him and through the intense sadness, I realized that I was not only alone, but my purpose in life was gone.

I am now much older than I was the last time I was all alone, and I seem to be at a loss for what to do now. I am still grieving, but I know that soon, I will need something to satisfy this sense of purpose of mine.

Health conditions keep me from doing much of the senior part-time positions that are out there, so I have tried for the last few years to create my own career. It was quite profitable until recently, and now that sense of purpose is gone, too; and now the loss of Bobby Socks. I am in the position of many seniors who have nothing to do but wait for death. I am not content with that prospect.

So what to do? I need to be needed, obviously, I need to be as active as I can, I need a good reason to get out of bed every morning, and I need a challenge. So, there is my dilemma. I guess that is my purpose now – find another sense of purpose. Wish me luck.
 
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Why?

2/8/2017

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A few days ago, someone said, “why?” when I said I had website. I responded that I knew some things that I wanted to share and some things I wanted to say. But she did give me pause, however. She looked at me kind of funny, so I told her I had many people who visited it. So, I checked this morning to make sure I was still right and I have received 751 visits for the first week in February. Even though she made me feel funny, I realized some people enjoy visiting my site. I guess this means I will renew Weebly in April for another year.
I have been having some lonely issues lately and people are nice about suggestions to help with this. Most suggest church, since I live in the Bible Belt, but I have not found church groups particularly friendly – they already have friends. I live among seniors in the apartment complex that I am in, but I do not seem to have common ground with most, other than living here.
I know I have been a pain with existing friends by calling them too much. They all live long distance and are nice, but they have their own lives consisting of friends and family. I have brother and a nephew, but we have never been close. Family is not the answer.
I have, therefore, started going to senior group activities. One group goes out for dinner on occasion, and I have started picking and choosing when to go. As with most people on fixed incomes, I have very little disposable income so I must budget for fun. Another group has a center and every so often they have an activity that I want to attend. This week it is a formal English tea. I have my “outfit” all picked out. They are also having a Mardi Gras party later in the month and for a small price, I get beads, King cake, and all the trimmings at the party. Both should be fun and that is the whole point.
I doubt very seriously if I will meet a new lifelong friend, but maybe I will. Who knows. Getting out will be more fun than watching TV at home. I will report on these events and let you know how they went.
  
 
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    I am a retired teacher and IT trainer who has travelled a bit and learned many life lessons.

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