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Being Too Nice

2/16/2016

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Unfortunately, I am a nice person. I say “hi” to people and ask after them. I try to help out when someone needs advice or even actual help to do something. BUT this is truly a curse. I am constantly taken advantage of. I do not get reciprocal help which leads me to rethink this “nice” thing. I take people to the emergency room, the doctor, to pick up their stranded friends, and many other “trips” to help. Now it must be said, I actually drive people around for a little money for my time and my gas. However, these people NEVER offered a cent or EVER reciprocated.

I recently twisted and tore a tendon in my left knee. I could not do anything for anyone for several weeks. Did these people whom I “help” all the time come to my aid? Of course not. They did not even come to see me while I was forced to sit on my couch with my leg elevated. They did not even call.

The other day, five weeks after my injury, one of them asked how my knee was doing while passing me at the mailbox. I told her the doctor said I had about 3 more weeks, and to try to keep off it as much as possible. Anything I did would prolong its healing. This woman, I learned from a friend, needed “help” setting up a garage sale. Can you figure out why she asked about my knee? I have learned my lesson with her – no help ever again.

I think I must, also, have a sign outside my door that says “knows all” because I am constantly getting visits from people with problems that they seem to feel I can solve. I listen and comment on what I think. I am replacing that sign with “Go Away!” The DRAMA is “killing me softly” as the song says.

My life sucks right now. I am slightly disabled, living on a fixed income, and pretty disappointed with my life overall. I cannot be bothered with all this “stuff” that is unloaded on me constantly. Too many of the people who interact with me, WANT something.

I am tired of being nice – too nice. I realize that a true personality change is not possible, so I guess I will not answer the phone or the door to
some people. My help and advice are now only available to those who appreciate me. I can still be nice to them and be “not so nice” to those others. My life circumstances will not change, but I will eliminate those pesky irritants that do nothing to improve my life.
So today, I am going to start being “nice” – just “nice” – not “too nice.”
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Thanks to My Facebook Friends

2/7/2016

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​​Many thanks to my Facebook friends for their supportive comments to my last post. I so appreciate the positive comments that some of you sent me. I was at a very low point on that day, after a very long month of dealing with a torn tendon in my knee. Pain is not a good thing when you are already feeling a bit low.

​My doctor says I have another month to go with the knee, and I am pretty sure the job situation is a permanent thing, since I will not be getting any younger. I have, however, come up with a job that I can create for myself using the many skills I have learned over the years.

​Using my teaching and training skills, my IT specialist skills, and my training booklet writing experience, I am creating courses to teach at the local junior college in the Continuing Education Department. I am also going to offer Windows 10 booklets on this website. Many people have told me that they had been "updated," and they do not have a clue how to proceed.

​So again, thanks to you all for your support in my "blue" time. You are the best!!!

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Is There a Time to Give Up?

2/1/2016

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You might have noticed that I did not write anything in January. There is a reason. It follows.

Is there a time that a senior should just give up? I have friends who have done just this. They are considerably older than I am, but they have given up and given in. They rely on others to do for them and are content to just sit or lie around at home every day. They watch TV, read magazines, and sleep a lot. I wonder sometimes if I should just give in and give up.

It is against my basic nature. I always have a plan and search for ways to achieve it. I dream of better times and try to follow those dreams. But sometimes it is very hard to buck the system that wants us seniors out of the way.

I have spent many months looking for part time work. Let me tell you - discrimination is still rampant in the work force. Being a woman was always hard and now I have the euphemism “over-qualified,” meaning that I am old, to add to that. Why wouldn’t a smart manager want someone mature, responsible, and over –qualified to work at their company? I would not ditch the job on Friday because of a date, a party, a game, or even a hangover. I would not be out of temper because of a breakup or fight with a friend. I would be an asset. But I am not considered one. So…. I have given up on finding a real job. I have tried to create paid work and that is not really going that well either.

I have found that it is hard to make real friends now. You know, people like me. I cannot be that unique that there is no one around in this city that is not a little bit like me. This creates intense loneliness. I have to rely on the phone to reach out to old friends. No personal relationships here.
​

So, is it time to give up and sit, watch TV, read, and sleep? Is it time to give up hope for fun, stimulation, friends and all kinds of new things and people? Today, I am thinking so. I hope tomorrow my positive attitude will return and I will continue my quest for a good life, even though I am a senior. But today, it does not look so good.
 
 
 
 
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    Author

    I am a retired teacher and IT trainer who has travelled a bit and learned many life lessons.

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