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What Makes a Friend?

1/24/2018

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When you talk with people they talk about having friends – how many or where they live or such things. We have “friends” on Facebook, too.

But what is a friend, really? The definition according to google is “a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.”
 
And then there are degrees of friendship – close, casual, work, church, childhood, etc. Years ago, I thought I had a lot of friends. I did things with them, invited them to my house, went to their houses, and spent a lot of time with them.
 
Then I became very ill – near death. They were there the first few days but disappeared gradually over the year it took me to fully recover. It was a sad day when I realized I had treated them as I would a friend, but they did not think of me the same way.
 
I still know quite a few people. I stay in touch with those that live in other places, see those that live near me often, but not everyone I deal with is my friend – my loyal friend.
 
One of the things that determines who I am close to is “gossip.” If someone tells me about what a friend said or “made up” about me, that makes me question their loyalty. And unfortunately, if I find out that this is true, it immediately means I have one less friend. Friends do not tell tales on friends (Peggy’s Rule). Friends can disagree with me, but do not lie about me. I do not tolerate liars – ever.
 
So as my older life progresses, I find I trust fewer people that when I was a kid. I could not “see” what people really were as well then as I can today. My time left to live is far smaller than that behind me. I do not have time to waste on “fakes.”
 
​
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Just an Update

1/13/2018

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I must be feeling better - still wobbly and dizzy, but I managed to take the trash to the trash bin - it is just down the hall but I did it.

​I still have purple eyes, a headache, lots of dizziness,  some blurred vision, and the gash on my forehead. Cannot tell if it is healing much - healing is difficult with diabetes - usually takes more time.

Took a wobbly shower last night and washed my hair again. We have bars to hold when in the shower in this senior apartment. Last time I ventured to do it, I was washing the blood out. ​A neighbor said yesterday, she should have taken pictures of my face - no one would believe I looked that bad.

​So the weekend has started and I am watching TV again and occasionally using  my laptop. I am not supposed to be doing anything that "bothers" my concussion. Still cannot focus enough to read a book, but when I go to bed I am usually exhausted and fall asleep quickly,

​Basically, I  am healing.
​
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A Week Has Passed Since My Fall

1/12/2018

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My body is recovering thankfully from my fall a week ago. My black eyes are now purple, my nose has finally stopped bleeding (although it is still swollen), but my head still feels like it is full of cotton (it takes a while for a concussion to heal). I do not have a clue how long it will take to get back to normal. But I vow to do it

​My neighbors have been wonderful - checking on me, running errands to get my meds or "snack food." (Yes, I am feeling better - this Friday night I will be having chips, dip and coke. Almost normal.)

​I have not gotten bored yet, since I am so tired most of the time. I lazily watch some inane TV show until bedtime. I am sleeping about 10 hours at night, but no naps now, during the day. Luckily, I am kind of lethargic so I do not get bored like I would in normal health.

​I look forward to resuming my life and creating new adventures for myself. That is a goal that will make me push to get better even sooner. I know I can - and I am very hardheaded so I will. If I can, I will.

​I look forward to posting my new adventures, here. Keep your fingers crossed for me that I can do just that, OK?

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Experience is a Hard Teacher

1/5/2018

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I am relaying my hard lesson that I learned yesterday. I walk with a cane -have for 7 years; however, I do not use it in the apartment because I believe that the furniture could catch me in a fall.

Yesterday, I fell by my loveseat and it did not reach out and prevent it. – Lesson learned, the hard way.
I fell face first since my arms do not have the strength to catch me due to an illness that happened 7 years ago. Face first and burning shoulders told me that I had done it again and hurt myself - pretty bad. It took a while to just turn over, so I could try to scoot to the phone. I reached it finally and called 911.

My dear neighbor, Brenda, arrived with her Sheltie, then. I dragged myself over to the patio door and opened it. (providence stepped in, obviously). She talked to the people of the ambulance on the phone, I believe. The high point of my day was that 4 beautiful firemen showed up to help me until the ambulance arrived. (I still had enough sense to appreciate them.)

I am blurry a bit after this – I vaguely remember the ambulance ride and then I was in the emergency room.

NO sense detailing everything that was done – everything WAS done. The nurses and doctors were wonderful at Baptist Hospital.

I got home about 5PM (happened before noon). I went bed by 6 PM. Hence, I am awake now. Watching CNN and feeling a bit better, black eyes, bleeding nose, and all.

I know I will be very sore once the shock wears off. But I guess those 30 years of dancing strengthened my bones and I DID NOT BREAK ANYTHING.
​

I am have finally gotten it in my head that I am 71 years old and need a cane, everywhere I go. Hard Teacher taught me this the hard way.
​
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Happy New Year!

1/1/2018

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Today is the start of a brand new year. Isn’t it funny that we look to this one day to start afresh or gain insight? We could do it any day, but for some reason the start of a new year makes us look back and pledge to do better in the future.

We start a new diet, promise to keep in touch, and make all kinds of deals with ourselves to be new people – not the ones from the year before. Unfortunately, the new diet sometimes falls away before the month is over and we go back to our other ways fairly soon.

I am guilty of all the above – diets, promises, etc. One year I read that we should write everything down and then reread it one month later to see what we had accomplished. After I finally found the list, I found that I had not fulfilled my promises to myself at all. But that is just human nature.
​

Even though I realize that today is not much different from yesterday, I am still making resolutions to myself. They are pretty general with lots of leeway so maybe I will accomplish some of them this year.
And being an optimist, I always hope. So, I wish you a very Happy New Year and wish you “hope,” too.
​
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    Author

    I am a retired teacher and IT trainer who has travelled a bit and learned many life lessons.

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