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What Ages Us?

1/21/2014

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What ages a person other than just living a long time?  I know (and I bet you do, too) people who are in their 80’s and are YOUNG.  They work out, attend all kinds of events, live alone, and take very good care of themselves.  What makes a people of the same age go to bed, refuse to walk even though they can, and stop living life?

Circumstances and attitude – that’s what.  And I really think attitude is stronger than circumstances. Of course, if you have a debilitating illness or some major accident that leaves you powerless, that will make things different.  But some people do not have these things happen to them and they have given up and retreated into old age.

I do not want to be old before my time or even at my time.  I have been thinking about the things that have caused me to age in the past few years.  I was very ill 5 years ago, but I returned to good health and have lived my life. Illness did not age me. 

Although my finances are very different from 5 years ago, I still manage to live life.  I have made some bad decisions about where to live, but I am finally resolving that issue. I will be moving to an area that has a lot of people, cars, stores, hospitals, museums, and concerts.  I might not be able to go to everything, but I will have a choice of how to improve my “living.”

One thing that I have learned in the last couple of years is that I cannot live in that beautiful little town or on that river with beautiful sunrises.  I do not like being alone.  And I have noticed I have started becoming a little old lady.  My take on this – isolation and loneliness ages all of us. What is the greatest punishment the prisons give – isolation? This is punishment of the grand style and older people should not be sentenced to it.

Since there is no one around me where I live now, I sometimes see no one or speak to no one.  If I did not have my dog, I probably would only talk to myself and my friends on the phone. This isolation has caused me to retreat into myself, ask questions about the purpose of my existence, feel desperate and out of control.  My solution is to move, as I said earlier.

Illness, divorce, and poverty did not bring me down.  It was loneliness.  I started to age right in front of my eyes.  I could not stop it and it took me a while to realize why.  I have never been a loner; I  have always had friends and acquaintances that enjoy the same activities as I do. Since moving to the place I am now, I have not made any acquaintances that lasted.  In fact, there are many OLD people who live here and are just sitting and waiting, as life passes them by.

As we age, I think we need to have people in our lives – family, friends, or even strangers who live near us or interact with us regularly, i.e. doctors, pharmacists, cashiers, etc. This contact keeps us young and going strong.  Once I relocate, I hope to get back a few years of that “aging” that occurred while I lived in isolation.  And I probably will act a little crazy with all those activities to choose from. I have missed so much living and I am ready to get started now.

 

 

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The Weather and Age

1/5/2014

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I remember many years ago when a friend and I laughed at her elderly parents and their constant concern for the weather.  They would cancel any outing if it rained, snowed, was too warm or too cold.  We could not understand why they would do this.  My friend would have plans with them to take a short trip to pick apples and they would cancel because it was too hot or raining.

I also had an elderly friend who watched the weather channel relentlessly even though she was more or less house bound and would not be going out into it.  She could tell you if it was going to rain, snow, rise drastically in temp or drop drastically in temp. She knew the wind speed and the wind chill factor. And thunderstorms terrified her.

My young friend and I swore that we would never let the weather control what we did on any given day when we got older.  This winter I have to eat those words. The weather is controlling my life.

I check the weather channel for the temp when I get up in the morning.  I also look to see what the weather will be for that day, i.e. temperature, wind speed, if it will rain and when, or if there is snow predicted.  I also check it periodically during the day and I check to see what the low will be. I plan my day accordingly.

What has happened to me?  Is it because I have gotten older? Is the weather that important in my day to day life?  No, not totally.  I think it is partly because of my living conditions.

Last year, I moved to an isolated place near a river in northeast North Carolina near the Albemarle Sound.  I live in a summer house that is not adequately insulated for winter.  I cannot afford to heat the entire house so I plan which room I can heat and when I can be in it. Since we are having the worst winter in many years, this takes my total focus. 

But it still remains that I focus on the weather.  I believe when we get older and it is harder to do all the things we did when younger, that we focus on a specific thing to have something to do.  Weather happens every day so it can be a focus point and can control our lives if we let it.

My younger friend has aged as I have, but she is still working in a profession that requires her to go out in the weather.  She dresses appropriately, takes caution in inclement weather when driving, and does not let bad weather stop her.  She has something important to focus on.  She notices the weather but it does not control her like it does me.

My suggestion (which I intend to follow) is to find activities to do and focus on instead of what the weather will be today.  My plans are to move away from this isolated place where I am living to a large city and get involved in some sort of job or volunteer group. The concern for the weather will move back to where it belongs – in the background of my life.

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Celebrity or Notoriety?

1/2/2014

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Celebrity is now defined as being a star or superstar.  Notoriety is defined as an unsavory reputation.  These definitions give me pause.  Are the entertainers in the news today, with all their actions, true celebrities (stars) or are we just seeing their notoriety (unsavory behaviors)?

For example, how often have you heard comments about Miley Cyrus’s songs?  I have not heard one – all I have heard is about her state of dress or undress.  The latest comment I heard was about her concert on New Year’s Eve – not the actual concert, but that she wore more clothes than usual. She is not a celebrity by the current definition.

Now that we have phones that can video behaviors, and Utube, Facebook, and other social media that can present them,  we know far more than we probably want to know about our celebrities’ behaviors rather than their abilities. Of maybe that is what we want to know.

Every type of successful (or wealthy) athlete is a celebrity.  Their wives are also celebrities with all their suitable and unsuitable behaviors.  Actors, singers, TV personalities, politicians (Bob Ford comes to mind), and so many others all are considered “celebrities” by today’s standards.  If you can get your name in the papers, on social media, or on the news you are a celebrity, i.e. Octomom.  What you do may not be star quality and possibly is unsavory, but by today’s standards you will be a celebrity.

I think we need to redefine celebrity as one who is notorious and may or may not exhibit star behavior.  Talent or skills may get you called a celebrity, but bad behavior surely will.

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    I am a retired teacher and IT trainer who has travelled a bit and learned many life lessons.

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