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Am I Getting OLD?

5/30/2014

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I think I might be getting old.  Oh, I know my body is – major illnesses and traumas have aged it so much it might be the equivalent of 100 years old.  No, I think my mind might be getting older.

I have always poo-pooed older people who did not go out in the rain for their outings.  I still go, but it seems more of a hassle.  I have to walk so far when I go to the Y (one street over) and with an umbrella and a cane, it is not easy. So some days, I postpone my trip to the Y if it is raining hard. But that’s not all.

I have several things I need to do on my laptop, but I am postponing it all.  Another hassle!  It involves reading complicated directions to accomplish something I really want to do.  I also need to reprogram my DVD player since getting Comcast. This also involves getting out the instructions and following them step by step.  I did both things a couple of years ago and I must admit I sweated a bit then.  Now I seem to be postponing these two things, even though both would make my life better.  Why am I doing this?

I used to be challenged by new things and products.  I could not wait to figure everything out.  I was an IT specialist a few years ago and I accomplished amazing things, if I say so myself. Everyone in my department thought I was unbelievably smart and great at what I did.  Now all this does not seem like fun any longer.

The problem here, I believe, is that old brain.  It has been around for all those illnesses and traumas with my body.  I try to challenge it daily – I play games, I read, I do this website. But I must need something else to get me going – brain wise.  I go to the Y to work physically on my body.  But I must need more for my brain.  What can I do?

Is this old age or just being tired of hassles?  I have had many in my life.  I have come back from the dead once; I have come back from extreme poverty twice.  I have survived divorce more than once; I have conquered being totally alone without family or friends several times. My life has been a struggle and I wonder if that is what all this procrastination is about.  Am I old or am I just tired?

I know that I will eventually fix that laptop thing and I will reprogram that DVD player. I will walk in the rain with my umbrella and cane, too.  I will do these things, because I do not want to give up being “young at heart.” I do not want to be “old” in my mind, either. I am just going to have to keep plugging along, accomplishing what I need to do

It really is about attitude and perseverance, I believe – not old age.

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    I am a retired teacher and IT trainer who has travelled a bit and learned many life lessons.

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