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A Light Bulb Went Off,

9/6/2017

1 Comment

 
Yesterday a light bulb went off in my life. I have been just plodding along learning to live alone, happily as a senior on a limited income. I have a few health issues, as most of us do, and I have been able to keep them at bay. Yesterday, however, caused me a great panic.

I got up at 6AM, turned on the TV, and all hell broke loose. A hurricane was coming. Not soon, and not even in my area, necessarily. Now, I have lived through several hurricanes and even more tornados, and they do not scare me. What caused my panic?

Simple. I am alone-totally alone. I have no family and no friends close by who could give me shelter if I needed it. I went into panic mode – a mode I do not usually experience. I realized that no one I have known and even loved over the years is interested in how I am doing.

I have a brother, yes, a younger brother, who only reaches out when he needs his older sister. Last fall when a hurricane appeared to be heading his way in Georgia he called and asked me for shelter if he needed it. He did not come. I have not heard from him since. And I know I will not hear from him if one barrels down on me.

My closest friend, who might welcome me lives in Alexandria, Virginia. And I considered how I could get there if need be. Well, I had just paid all my bills from my SS check i.e., rent, water, electricity, etc. Not much left after that. I did not even have enough gas in my car to drive myself away from harm. As I said, I panicked and experienced several hours of “hell.”

UNTIL, I accepted the fact that I had to solve this – I would have to stay where I was, in my apartment if a hurricane did come here. AS the day, progressed, I realized that I had no one who cared about me or would offer to rescue me in the event I needed it. But as the day passed I realized that many of my neighbors are alone, like I am. I spoke to many of them, during the day, and we decided we would stay put and deal with it. But the difference for me was to realize that I was not alone, really. I had neighbors who were in the “same boat.” I did fill up my gas tank, just in case “we” had to leave and head away from here.
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1 Comment
Dianna Bradley
9/6/2017 07:48:12 am

I totally understand. I am going through the same thing and have a lot of family around yet still feel alone and have no help. I also now have my nieces baby cause she is in jail waiting trial as a witness to a crime. He cried all night as he is sick and I am sick. No one wants to help but they want my help. If I can't help they don't need me. Lie has changed. They are all out there helping themselves and working. Everyone is looking for Mom to help out, but Mom is gone now and we all have to pay for help. I'd rather do it myself. I give help free and would never charge. Neighbors are great but they have their own too! Still haven't meet anyone on equal terms of five and take. I have been in panic mode as I begin retirement with no income for a month and a big drop in pay next month. I have to move but have no one to help and no energy to do it myself with an 8 month old. Still I pay for the Mother of the baby to call me from jail to talk to the baby. I feel like I am drowning and someone has put a weight around my neck to stay down. My doom day is Sept. 7th. That is the day I will know where I will be moving to or even if I have to move. I hate this waiting. Court decision on custody of my granddaughter is the decision factor. Is my son gets custody, I move. If not, I get a renter and stay here. Your welcome here Peggy. I don't want to move and need to stay put, but I do want to move and get something cheaper
My income be cut in half and I was still not surviving with full pay. I had a wonderful husband but God did tricks on me and I fell in love with a long time friend who took me down the pee patch. Now I am alone. I wonder how could have I done this. I left a Doctor husband for him 25 years ago and left my MFT husband agin for him. His 91 year old father forbade us to be together. His father died a year ago and still my true love doesn't come to see me. He is waiting for me to ressue him but he will be waiting for Godot. My pride tells me not to lower myself for another's stupidity unless they see their wayward ways and repent. My granddaughter's mother is in the same boat as my ex-boyfriend. In all of my life to want something so much as a granddaughter and I got to bond with her and was in Heaven. Then her mother because of the custody battle, accused me of trying to kidnap her!!!! Of all things in this world to have to go through. She denied me access to her and it hurt terribly. 10,000.00 later, we get to see her every other weekend.
Because of her drinking she Is out of her right mind. And my second husband was drinking also. My ex boyfriend was a drinker. So overall I see this phase in my life as an eye opener that others are I dire need of professional help and this world is in bad shape!!!!! So, it is and may be a blessing to have only yourself to fend for.

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    I am a retired teacher and IT trainer who has travelled a bit and learned many life lessons.

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