.."II have fallen again. I am just going to have to realize that I an now 74 years old and do not need to climb up on anything - not even a one step up stool. The elevated air makes me dizzy. Or else my old age- what do you think?

Part of my curtain rod in my bedroom window fell out of its hook and I was just going to put it back, I reloaded the rod with the drape and sheer and stepped up = and fell down. I hate getting old and becoming a dizzy old woman.

Bad thing now is when I fall, I am like that old commercial, "I have fallen and I cannot get up." I have to "butt walk" to the phone and dial 911. Then I have to butt walk to the front door and open it. The only good thing is that the Fire Department sends 3, yes, 3, gorgeous young firemen to help me up. I called two neighbors but they are old and like me, cannot lift anything heavier that 5 pounds. I weigh a bit more that that.

So my dear firemen showed up and popped me right up. My neighbors were there and got to see them, also.

Therefore, I am making this pledge - I will not step up on anything higher than two inches ever again. I will not even walk up steps - ramps or elevators for me.

Of course this really bothers me, because I want to remain independent and self-sufficient As the old saying goes, "Pride goeth before a fall,"

I received an email asking if I was OK. Yes, I am and I hope they see this post and the one before it. 

Riley and I are doing pretty good for old creatures. We just got rain from Ida - but we get a lot of rain during this time of year. 

June has "busted out all over" and is almost gone. Since I hit my head around the first of June, I cannot remember much about it. Now that I feel a little more connected, I will start my patio plants and décor now, a little late, but it will have to do.

Although a friend took me to Lowe's to buy flowers, etc. during June, I did not buy anything. For me it is hard to understand my attitude, but I did not care about anything, I just wanted to go home. Today, however, I am ready to get with summer and that is wonderful.

I am probably too late to do tomatoes, etc., but I can do plants. And I need to do that, since I have more dead ones than live ones. I almost lost my big ferns, that in past year - I divided in the spring and gave the portions  to friends. Today they are barely hanging on. Just need lots of water and I have been giving them a drink every AM and PM. Keep your fingers crossed. I have had them for over 5 years and have, as I said, divided and given so many away.

Oh, that winter debris of a neglected porch is really bothering me. And all those empty tables and plant stands, too. I cannot go by myself, yet - I have to have a friend drive me until I have no more dizzy spells. I am getting better every day. This post proves it. I am actually looking forward to something.

​I can order soil, fertilizer, and plant food on line, but I will have to take a "good" day and go in person to pick out my plants. Believe it or not, but I buy the quick sale plants that are dying and bring them back. That is because it appears I have inherited my mother's green thumb.

So I will leave you to make my plans and arrange a trip to the nursey.

 I accidently turned on the camera on my laptop and I was staring at my face. My 74 year old face without makeup and looking down. YIKES! I have aged!

I look into my bathroom mirror every morning to brush my hair and my teeth, and sometimes later if I plan on going out and I put on a little make-up. I do not EVER see that face when I start to get ready.

My picture not only looked old on my laptop; it was scary, too. Children would run and scream if they saw that face. AND it looked angry - not a smile to be seen.

I wonder if that is my teacher face when I gave discipline - it would explain a lot. Granted this face was very old, and colorless, but the expression could stop clocks.

I am going to have to work on this. I did go and put on make-up and took another look, better - at least the clocks kept running

NO MORE BARE FACE FOR ME = MAKE FOUNDATION AND SOME EYE MAKE UP AT LEAST. i WILL PUT SOME ON WHEN i WALK MY DOG IN THE MORNING. I cannot scare the other dogwalkers I see, unless I go out a 6AM. No one is out there.

I am so glad I did not accidently take that pic that showed up. I hope It is gone forever.-Except in my memory = YIKES!

I staying at home more than I like because I have fallen 7 times in the last year and hit my head each time. The last one was about a month ago, and my friend and neighbor here is a nurse and she has nixed me from driving for a while. I am going bonkers- not because of the head injury but because I am staying in my apartment all the time. Then add the Pandemic, and it is an insult to my already damaged happiness.

Watching TV is a practice in endurance since I am watching old shows that I watched when they were popular or not even popular years ago. Roku is not helping much, either, since they have not introduced many new shows. 

I read when I go to bed and I have to fight myself to stay in front of the TV until all the news stations have aired. I have one or two new books, that neighbors here have given me, but I also had to buy another bookcase (third one) to hold all of my new books.

I tried to take some books up to the apartment library the other day, and their shelves are full. Obviously my neighbors are readers, too. Unfortunately, we  seem to like the same books, and I have read most of what they have placed there.

I have finally decided I will have to use some of my limited income to buy some mystery books from an old site I once used. Of course, the books that were so cheap then, are not so cheap now - but I am not spending any money on other pleasures now. So I will blow my entertainment budget on books. 

Sorry for whining; I know everyone is having to "deal" with this situation and some are even ill. So far my close friends and neighbors are staying well, and we have all had our Covid 19 shots. Maybe the joy to move freely will soon be our right again. I miss my recent life. Stay well.

Many of my neighbors and I have self-isolated. We are a senior apartment complex, and I think they feel, as I do, that at our age we do not need to temp Fate. I also have finally been assessed by my nurse friend to be able to drive myself once again. That in itself is a freedom. 

I wanted to go to the store today, not for anything special, just to replace a few things and get a few sale items. BUT it is raining. Now, I always poopooed the old people (when younger) for not going out when it rains. But I have become one - my issue is balancing my cane, my umbrella, and trying to keep an arm free for everything else - like opening doors to cars.

Long story short, I will wait until tomorrow or whenever the rains stop or just order my groceries online and have them delivered. I hate to admit this, but It appears I have become one of those old people who only go out when the sun is out. 

I guess 74 1/2 is a good time to admit I am getting old - not older, but old. In my heart I am still a young woman. But my brain and body like to remind me that I am getting old - all the time.

Therefore, I will wait until tomorrow to got out, but it is a given that I will get out sometime soon. I am and have never been a homebody. And TV is all reruns, obviously, and I have sworn not to read my books until I go to bed. Why? I just have a few left. I guess I will have to order some from a booksite that I once used.

When I moved into my apartment in Pensacola, FL 6 years ago, I never knew I would live here this long (about 3 years had been my limit). And now I cannot think of anyplace that I would want to live in that I can afford. And my apartment is roomy and comfortable. I have it furnished, finally, after leaving everything in that storage unit in NC. And I am as content as I can be, being the wanderer that I am.

This apartment has changed hands (don't you love that expression?) and millionaires did what they do to make money - sold us down the river. Rent went up and services went down when they hired a bankrupt management company to take over for the wonderful (and I guess expensive) one we had for 5 years.

Anyway, I am watching the lovely liquid sunshine that has been with us since our rainy season began. Gray is really a non-descript color, you know. Black and white are considered no color and gray appears to be their step child. And it has been gray here for so long.

Riley and I made it out early for his "potty run" this AM before another shower came by. He is snoozing to my left on his pillow and velour cover. He is royalty you know - registered name Prince Riley. 

Anyway, not only is it raining, but we are in the middle of a pandemic, as the world is. I rarely see my neighbors and friends, unless I go check on them or they check on me. Then we stand 6 feet apart, automatically, and most of us wear masks. My black friends are not wearing a mask, and I have not asked why - it would be an invasion of their privacy and it is their business.

I was hoping to start driving again since my last brain fuzz, and I never thought I would say this, but I will wait until it stops raining. We senior Florida drivers tend to be reckless in our old age, and I do not want an additional thing to worry about. So I will stay home but it is killing me, and I need some groceries. I have a friend who will drive me, but I want to go by myself and not inconvenience her.

That friend has just unloaded a family storage unit into her apartment. She has enough to do and our new prissy little manager has given her until the 26th to get rid of it. She has had 4 heart attacks since I have lived here and many before that. He is being a jerk  but it is because she feeds our stray cats and he does not like stray cats. (or cats in general.}

I feed three strays myself. And when he told me to stop, I told him if I did we would have all those little guys we had when I moved in here -lizards, frogs, small, bugs, roaches, Palmetto bugs, mice, and rats. He did not say another word to me about it again. But he is threatening my friend with eviction is she does not stop.

I REALLY THINK HE DOES NOT HAVE A CLUE OF WHAT IS GOING ON HERE IN THIS RETIRED COMMUNITY. HIS THREAT WILL NOT FLY IN COURT AND I HAVE A DEAR 90 YEAR OLD BLACK LADY WHO HAS A LAWYER ON SPEED DIAL. Our manager does not realize who he is messing with. Old people have been around the block several times.

So life here in Pensacola, in this apartment complex, goes on- much like everywhere else. And in the midst of this pandemic, a monumental occurrence, we still have petty little people pushing their petty agenda. It is probably good that we are locked down inside because of this pandemic. Not much can be done right now. 
​

I am sure I am alone on this, but since call waiting has come into use, people now put you on hold to get the other call and keep you there while talking to the other person. This makes me feel as if I am not worthy enough to keep talking to if someone else calls.

I do use it, myself, but  to see who called me, but I never put a person on hold to answer the call unless it is doctor or someone like that calling me regarding on appointment of health. And then I tell the caller, I will call them back.

Anyway, I usually hang up after waiting several minutes while the "more important call" is answered.. And every old person I know has this. And if you wait, you might talk to them in a few minutes or several if you hold on long enough. I understand emergencies, doctor's offices calling back, etc. But personal calls?

Also, if I hang on long enough I get disconnected anyway. So that is pet peeve that probably only old grumpy people like me have. But I have it and I practice what I said I will do, even if it is one of my good friends.

You would think that I would have learned to keep my opinions to this site only and my mouth shut when around others, too. Why? because I am so frank when a subject upsets me.

Those who have known me forever, know that I give my opinions and advice freely. Always, have, and I am afraid always will.

I have a neighbor and friend who told me yesterday not to call her this weekend. She is very angry with me. This is upsetting since not only is she a friend, but she drives me until I can do it again, and she is concerned about my health- much like as a former teacher, I "help" people with their problems, with the computer or other things.

This friend has had 4 heart attacks since I moved here 6 years ago. And being me, the former teacher, I have tried to "help" her. 

Recently, she had everything sent to her apartment that was in a large storage room. This is "stuff" from her grandmother's and mother's house. She is going to go through it and planning to distribute belongings to her nieces if they want it and then sell the rest at local flea marker.

Our apartment manager is a jerk. He has decided to pick on her about getting everything out by the end of this month. (walls in her apartment are lined with boxes, her extra bathroom and bedroom are the full.)

With Brenda this a temporary thing- we have people who have a three bedroom's worth of house in a two bedroom apartment. And they have been like that since moving in 6 years ago. But she has been vocal about problems, as all of us intelligent people do. He is an immature little man with a Napoleon complex and he is going to punish her.

Anyway, back to us, we were talking yesterday and being older I gave unwanted advice. Get rid of it, sell, give it away. I related my dilemma of a few years ago of a storage unit 1000 miles away with everything I owned from many years of life. I also told her that young people today, like her niece, do not want that old stuff we have treasured.

Anyway, she said do not call her again this weekend. She is a reasonable person, a former charge nurse, but her emotions are raw and our management is pouring acid on them.

​Therefore, I will wait until she calls me again. FYI. ,many other neighbors have offered to go to her apartment  to help, but I told them we must wait and see. Losing everything from your past is difficult to accept.